The good news is that I went to my back-up OB yesterday. The baby looks great and there is a strong heartbeat, thank you, Father!
I am bleeding due to a sub-chorionic (sp?) hemorrhage. The doctor said it's 50/50 as to what will happen, and I'm under orders to stay in bed as much as possible. I am believing for life! Thankfully, the bleeding had mostly tapered off during the early morning yesterday, and even with going out to the doctor, has not picked up back up.
If you all could pray that it would heal and be repaired completely and quickly, and that I can be up and able to care for my family as quickly as possible, that would be great. As some of you know, my littlest guy isn't so little, and I hate to not be able to pick him up. I'm also needing to wean Noah cold turkey. I had gotten him down to once or twice a day, but last night and this morning I had to tell him no, and his sweet little voice and his head nestled in my arm asking for "milk, please, mama!" is hard for me. He' my only one I've nursed for so long, and it has been such a sweet thing. I am sad to have to end it like this, but am obviously totally willing to. I am to go for weekly ultrasounds to monitor the hemorrhage. I can't imagine being in bed for the entire next week, not to mention on an indefinite basis, so I am praying for QUICK healing. Just since yesterday, I have learned of four friends who have been healed from this!
The interesting story. My sister, Kristen, who I am very close to, is very involved in our life, and keeps my kids often, has been having weird, disturbing dreams about our family for probably about a month. The scary dying/kidnapping kind. She had talked to me about it some, but obviously didn't want to freak me out, so hadn't said a whole lot. They were becoming so frequent and bothering her so much, that she actually went forward for prayer about it. She was advised that maybe the Lord was really speaking to her about her need to pray for life and protection for our family in general, but she didn't really know any specifics. So she began praying in earnest. When she heard about my bleeding last night, she told me she immediately knew that it was for this situation.
Second part of the story...the other night when we got home from church, I was completely exhausted, and went to lay down while Glen put the kids in bed. I had a very strong urge to read the Bible, so I picked it up, and turned to Psalm 68:19-20. The verses immediately stuck in my mind, I had them completely memorized straight away, and memorizing Scripture like that is not something that usually comes easily to me. I was drifting in and out of sleep, repeating them over and over, I could sense very strongly the Holy Spirit was impressing them on my heart for a reason. I was saying them over and over, putting inflection on different words to emphasize different parts, and the whole time, part of my brain was very aware it was a kind of supernatural experience. So much so, that the following day I told Glen about it. That first night, while I was working through all the different emotions I was having, the Lord brought them to mind and I remembered them and believe they were for this time.
"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who DAILY bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves. From the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death."
That night I read them the first time, I was so moved by the Father choosing to DAILY bear my burdens. Sure, I know He bears my burdens, but the concept of him taking on my burdens DAILY just stood out to me so strongly! And as I was repeating the words over and over, I could hear myself saying, "*OUR* God is a God that saves," as opposed to false gods that people may pray and cry out to, but have no power to save. Our's does! I will admit, the escape from death part, at the time, was something that I didn't want to dwell on too much, but it stuck in my ,mind and I was impressed to pray that as well and put my trust fully in Him.
So that's where I am. I am praying that daily He will bear up this little one, andI gladly entrust the burden of sustaining his or her life, as well as the daily care of my family in His hands. He has already told me that daily bearing my burdens is something He does, so I am praying and trusting Him for that. I am trusting Him to save this little one's life, and provide escape from death. As I was coming home from the doctor thinking about how all this had come together, I thought wow! What a calling on this baby's life already! What warfare and destiny is surrounding this little one. I will be excited to learn the name the Father has for him or her, and see the mighty hand of God in his or her life.
My good friend, Tara, who just recently found out she is expecting, is due just a couple of days apart from me. She went for an ultrasound last week and was told they could not see a baby. They are hoping she just isn't as far along as she believed, and will go back on Friday. She has been feeling much like I have in that this whole thing feels very much like an attack from the enemy over these precious little ones' lives, so she and I are praying and believing together for life and health and perfect growth and development, and that these little ones would be held safely and securely in the hand of the Father. She shared with me a verse she is holding onto during this time, and I think it goes perfectly with the ones I felt the Father gave me.
"Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised." (Rom 4: 20-21)
Again, thanks so much for your prayers, emails, and comments. They are so appreciated.