the baby that couldn't nurse and what happened to her mom ~

I've been thinking about this post for awhile.

Should I write it?  Should I not?
It's not like I'm really "over it," so what do I say?

Ultimately it's a very big part of my life right now and my will always be part of my story with Everly.  Yeah, the blog is public and all, but it's also my mini-diary, so I need to tell it.  For my sake.

...cue the tears.  Again.

Everly doesn't nurse.  There.  I said it.  I, who have nursed all seven of my other children, and nursed two of them well into toddler-hood now have a formula fed baby.  Judge me.  I'd say I don't care, but I do.  A lot.  A whole lot.

I've spent hours at night alternating between shaking my fist at God and then curling up into a ball of tears crying, "Papa, why? Why won't you fix this?"  I never knew it would be this hard.  This emotional.  Sometimes I have felt almost bi-polar or something.  I have swung between being able to trust the Lord in it and being peaceful (albeit still very sad) to being very emotional.  I think I cried through worship at church for a good 10 weeks straight.  At least.  Even now it takes me about 30 seconds to be in tears if I really let myself go.  I can mostly talk about it pretty matter-of-fact but it doesn't take much for me to let myself "go there" and have to fight back the tears.  Mostly I am okay now.  But it's pretty much because I'm just kind of numb.

Glen has been nice, he's been understanding.  But he doesn't get it.  He's a guy.  I guess I can't blame him.

I feel like I have failed my daughter.  

When I listen to the lies of the enemy I hear things like:

"She doesn't need you."

"She doesn't even want you."

"If she gets sick it's all your fault."

"If she isn't as smart as the other kids it's all your fault."

"You shouldn't have been so prideful about nursing your other kids."

"If you had only, if you had only, if you had only..."

Sure, I can tell myself they are lies.  And they are.  They are not.true.  I know that in my heart of hearts.  But it's still super hard to ignore them.  When you go to nurse your daughter and all she does is get really mad and scream it's really hard to not listen to those malicious whispers.  When you read all those studies about how good nursing is and how evil formula is it's really hard to not wonder if maybe, just maybe she wouldn't have that stuffy nose.  It sucks.  Bad.

Part of my problem lies in guilt.  Should I have tried harder?  Should I have tried longer?  Should I not have tried to wean her from using the shield? (She would nurse from a shield the first few weeks.)  Maybe she really is tongue tied and if I'd just taken her to the doctor it never would have been a problem.  Should I have kept the pump I rented longer?  Should I have been willing to sacrifice several hours of every day to pump?

My other difficulty is that I'm not settled in how to view the situation.  Should I view it as satan trying to steal something from me?  Should I have prayed "against it" more?  Or do I believe that for some reason I may never know she didn't need to nurse.  That for some reason it was better for her to have formula.  Glen has celiac, all of our kids have gluten sensitivity.  But I eat gluten.  Maybe it would have caused a huge problem for her and it's the Lord being merciful and protecting her.  (Cue the guilt in that situation.)  Maybe with our family dynamics right now (busy with a very wide range of ages and things going on) the Lord knew she would be just fine with formula and in this season I needed to be able to leave her at home for some reason.  Maybe she is being protected from something.  I.don't.know.  And right now He isn't telling me (um, I might have a few issues with that too....) 

So, how I'm dealing:  Ultimately I'm just trusting God.  It's all I can do.  I can't figure out why (I have my theories; ultimately I think she has a significant tongue tie so even though she can nurse and did for a few weeks it's very hard for her and she learned to prefer a bottle) and it doesn't seem that I can change it.  I still have milk.  I still try occasionally.  I'm hoping maybe one day as she gets older she'll just decide it isn't so bad.  

And mostly I'm believing that if Jesus could turn water into wine, and the Giver of Good Gifts won't give his children a stone when they ask for bread, that he absolutely can turn that formula into the perfect food for her.  He can make it good.  And He is good.  This I know to be true.  So it's okay.  I'm going to be okay.  She's going to be okay.  And it's okay for me to be sad.  I will probably always be sad.  But there is not a day that goes by that I wish I could just go back and start over.  

So if you see me giving my baby a bottle, or the next time you see a mom giving her baby a bottle; don't judge and don't make assumptions.  Just give her a big smile and pray she doesn't turn into a puddle of tears.  

:)

...and for anyone interested in the details, I'm going to detail it all out right here so if for some reason I ever need to remember the progression of things that led down this path I'll have it all written down.

the birth of everly ~

Wow, it's been awhile since I've done one of these.  Everly's birth was kind of non-dramatic and I just realized I hadn't written about it!  Seeing as how I want to remember all the details it's pretty long.  Fair warning.

I've re-hashed the whole early baby/late baby thing numerous times here, so suffice it to say that when you've had five approximately two-week-early babies, one exactly-on-time baby, and one 15 day late baby that you just don't really know what to expect.  I was particularly uncomfortable at the end of this pregnancy (and bored, SO bored) that I was really hoping she would be early.  She must have been awfully comfy in there because I now have two late babies.  At least it was only three days and not fifteen.  Whew.

To start at the beginning, I just didn't have it in me for a home birth this time.  I didn't feel peaceful about it at all.  Haven and Grace were both 9 1/2 lbs (at 15 days late and 13 days early, respectively) and they were both posterior.  You can read about their births here and here.   Not only were they hard physically (especially Haven's, his was pretty dramatic involving zero pushing stage and being born in the caul) but especially mentally.  My midwife was and is amazing, getting both of them to turn during labor, but it made for long, uncomfortable labors.  I have diastasis pretty badly which I believe contributed to them being posterior and in the event Everly was going to also be posterior I wanted the option of an epidural.  So I went back to my ob that delivered my first three children and initially referred me to my midwife.  I'm so glad I did.  It was a great experience.  And what is up with having THREE 9 1/2 lb babies in a row?  Seriously??

Everly's pregnancy was hard.  I don't think I'd call it my hardest, but it was tiring.  My indigestion was worse than ever before (not that anyone cares, but I'm writing all this done for posterity's sake  :). )  I did all my regular freezer cooking and nesting and by about two weeks prior to her due date I was ready.  Alas, she was not.  So I sat there.  For two weeks.  Wondering if today was the day.  It *was* the beginning of the school year so I had some stuff to occupy me, but I had planned it light not knowing when little Evelyn Rose would make her appearance so it wasn't too big of a deal.  I was so bored.  SO bored.  But I resisted the offers of my doctor to induce me whenever I would like.  He said he was just trying to help me not have to birth another big baby.  I said thanks, but no thanks.  Those first few minutes and hours of realizing it's finally happening are priceless.  Definitely worth waiting for.  It's my favorite part of pregnancy pretty much.  So exciting.

My due date, Thursday, 15 September, came and went.  I remember posting on facebook on Friday night how odd it felt to be waiting to pick up my two oldest kids from a youth group event while being overdue with another sweet baby.  I definitely never imagined I'd be having babies when I had kids in youth group!

On Saturday I had made plans with my aunt to have lunch and go see The Help.  I had secret thoughts of going into labor during the movie but was mentally staying prepared for another very late baby.  We had a great lunch at Red Lobster and then headed to the theatre.  Sure enough, about halfway through I realized I was having some contractions.  Yes!  I discreetly checked my phone and realized that from the onset they were every ten minutes apart.  So I texted Glen and was so content sitting there with my little secret.  When the movie was over I promptly went to the restroom where I discovered that it was definitely the real thing.  I informed my aunt who was going to be the one to keep our kids that she should probably go home and be on call.  She lived with my great aunt and took care of her so we had made plans that my sister Kristen and her husband would come over if it was during the night and my aunt and great aunt would come out in the morning.

I stopped by the store to grab some stuff, went home, did laundry, straightened up, and told the kids.  My contractions pretty much quit while I was moving around but I was losing my mucous plug so I knew things were moving along.  I also realized that she was posterior (she had been anterior up until the last couple of weeks) so I figured it would be another long-ish labor.  I actually really felt that she was more sideways and had mentioned this to my doctor.

(In hindsight I should have known.  That Sunday was our church's day at a nearby YMCA camp which is super fun.  The kids had been looking forward to it all year and I had said so many times that unless we were actually having a baby on. that. very. day. that we would go.  Uh huh.  We had a baby that day.  Poor kids. They took it well.  At least it was raining and they didn't miss out on too much.)

The kids went to bed, Glen and I watched a movie and then went to bed.  I think I slept for about an hour.  My contractions were getting stronger and closer together.  I didn't want to call my sister or wake up Glen because I just wasn't quite ready to be that official yet.  So I sat in the tub and was beginning to have to really breathe through contractions and was having alternating thoughts of wanting to just stay in the tub and thinking I need to get to the hospital so I can get an epidural already.  I should have realized that was a pretty clear sign to go.  Thankfully Glen realized it and said we should probably go.  Not that the birth was imminent or anything but after Haven's literal falling out I think he's just a little nervous.  :)

So we headed to the hospital.  The triage nurse asked (in my opinion kind of disbelieving, like she gets women in all the time "thinking" they are in labor) if I *thought* I was in labor.  I was thinking, "Lady, this is my eighth baby.  Trust me, I'm in labor."  But I just smiled and said that yes, I thought I probably was.  She soon discovered I was about six-seven centimeters so that earned me a trip upstairs to labor and delivery.

Let me back up and say that I was super nervous about having a hospital birth.  Ethan was my last hospital birth and he is about to be ten.  Since then I've become (mostly) anti-vaccine and anti-intervention and I had a lot of concern over how that was going to go down.  After lots of asking questions on facebook I really felt the Holy Spirit telling me to just trust the Father, to pray for favor, and to not worry.  So I did that and was able to quit obsessing.

So when I got to the hospital and they gave me the hospital gown I told them I would really prefer to wear my own clothes.  And they were totally fine with it.  Totally.  They were understanding, accepting, and even sometimes downright supportive of my preferences.  I am so thankful to have had no issues whatsoever.  The only thing was that they insisted on giving her a bath in the nursery and keeping her under the lights for an hour.  I wasn't okay with that.  I thought I could keep her just as warm and I had visions of her lying there hungry and crying and them refusing to bring her to me until the hour had passed.  So we just declined the bath and no problem.

Anyway, when I got upstairs we went through the general questions and of course all the comments about Everly being number eight.  They know my midwife there and I think they found it humerous that I really just wanted a hospital birth for the epidural.  So they got me hooked up and I remember just lying there in the very early morning hours (I had prayed to go into labor and make the trip to the hospital at night, I just love it that way.  It just feels so secret-ish.) watching the contractions growing longer and closer and peaking on the monitor and thinking, "Thank You, Jesus, for epidurals."  True story.  I said it numerous times.  I was dead serious, too.  I did have a moment of pride when the nurse told me I was a good 7 (before the epidural) and asked if I always acted like nothing was really going on when I was at 7.  Ha.  Made me feel good even though I was being a weenie about it this time around.

The night passed and as morning came I began to be in a lot of pain.  Like I-may-as-well-have-been-at-home kind of pain.  The epidural. guy had to come back like four times.  I was having significant pain very low in the front *and* back which was new to me.  I can only imagine what that would have felt like completely sans epidural and at home.  I think I really believe that's why I needed to go to the hospital this time.

Finally they got me dosed up and then it was time.  Yay!  I had been concerned about possibly having to push out a posterior baby.  Susie (the midwife) was always able to get them to turn but I knew with an epidural and laboring just sitting in the bed that I couldn't count on that happening.  But I am glad to say that aside from the whole no-pushing thing with Haven it was by far my easiest pushing stage.  Five minutes.  Tops.  I think three pushes.  SO easy.  I did need a couple of stitches but it wasn't a big deal.  And she came out sideways.  That's what the doctor said.  Sideways.  That explains the pain in the front AND back, I think.

She was and is perfect.  Aside from my particularness  (is that a word?) the rest of the visit was normal and we were allowed to leave the next morning.  I spent a good amount of time worrying that first night about how I was going to decline having my blood drawn the next morning (I didn't feel it was necessary and WHY do they always come in at like 4:30am???) but when the tech came in I groggily said, "I"m declining having my blood drawn," and she gave me a quizzical look, turned around and left.  No one ever said anything about it.  I think they knew I just wanted to have my baby and be left alone.  :)

So that's it.  The birth of little Evs.  Life since then had been anything *but* my typical new baby adjustments but that story is for another time.

Welcome to the world, sweet Everly.  We are so glad you are here.  You are perfect, and you were born at just the right time.

my grace girl~

My sweet Grace girl.  A little more girly-girl than the other girls were; maybe that's why it seems different.  A 12:15am post isn't really adequate to encompass Grace in all her Grace-ness, but these few photos are a pretty good summary.  She can go from sweet baby girl to mischevious to karate chopping to hilariously fun in about two seconds and I absolutely love that about her.  She is fully confident in doing her own thing but she and Haven are also two peas in a pod for sure.  And yes, everyone here still thinks she is sooo cute despite having a little competition lately.  Two and half years later and I could still eat her up.  She's my "babes."  I just...there are no words.  

sweet two year old birthday

"Us?  We haven't been doing anything.  Really!"

"Ichi, ni, san shi.
Check out the awesome karate moves, people."

"I'm ready for church, are you?
It's July?  Your point?"
(yes I took her like this and yes it was awesome)



She likes to watch "woovies."

She calls Everly "Little Evs" and says, "Aw, she's sooo coote."

She wants "chocate milk" first thing in the morning
(but please don't tell her I just put a tiny bit of powder)

She wants to "swuggle" every night before Dad puts her in bed.

She always wants to "pway games" on the phone.

She can dance like nobody's business.
~ thank you, Kristen and Trevor  :)

She's quite entertaining to do laundry with
as she likes to tell you exactly who every item belongs to.

She says, "Caweb, Etan, Riah."

She knows exactly what she wants to wear
(as evidenced above.)

She could cut paper all day long and apparently
has amazing fine motor skills
since she can turn one piece into about a thousand as she sits and cuts each piece with the utmost precision.

And last for this evening, but not least,
she and Haven are so sweet together.
As soon as they are reunited after class at church
they hug and give each other pictures.
And Haven almost always saves part of his snack for her.
Super sweet.


Two year olds are awesome.

preparing for babypart 6nesting~

(for the first five posts in the series click the banner)

We'll just overlook the fact that it's taken me almost seven months to write all these posts. I could have practically had another baby by now. Ahem.

Cleaning. It sounds better when you call it nesting. Well, maybe not better, but not quite so boring. I've learned something about myself over the last thirteen years. While I love organizing, I hate cleaning. Okay, strongly dislike. I definitely enjoy the end result, but give me the choice of a sparkling clean house and a good book and the book wins hands down every. single. time. I'm not sure how much I should fight that and just suck it up and be responsible or just give in.

Anyway.

I most definitely like to have things in order before the arrival of a new baby, so once the pantry and the freezer are stocked I like to (pretty) methodically clean my house. Honestly, it's been so long (almost two years!) since I've done a pre-baby clean that I've kind of forgotten my methods. Either that or I can officially claim pregnant brain. (Did I just say that out loud?) Regardless, I don't really have much mental energy to put into laying it all out. Plus, everyone has different methods and levels of cleanliness that they like so there probably isn't a one-size-fits-all method.

So, here is what I do. I think.

Clean all the baseboards.

(For some reason this is the one thing my brain desperately needs to be done for me to feel I'm ready. I seriously used to crawl around on my hands and knees wiping them down and scraping up all the dust between the baseboard and the carpet but since I got a fabulous vaccum that has a super easy to use attachment this job has been upgraded from whenever I have a baby to whenever I vaccum. But I'm not confessing to how much more frequent that may actually be. :)

On a side note, I have read an interesting theory that God built the nesting instinct into expectant mothers to motivate them to stretch and maneuver their bodies into positions that help the baby settle into an optimal position for birth. I'm not sure how my last two posterior babies fit into that theory (except that we hired a friend to do quite a bit of the cleaning for me when I was pregnant with Grace and Haven was SO LATE that I had done all that cleaning a good six weeks earlier.) However, I do find it an intriguing theory that I tend to believe.

(Focus, Shyla, focus.)

Okay.

Clean the baseboards.

Clean all the windows and sills.

Clean the porch. Which now includes scrubbing chicken poop. I am still undecided if having chickens is worth the whole poop-on-the-porch problem or not.

After that I tend to break it down by room.

Kitchen:

~Wipe down the cabinets and appliances.

~Clean out the microwave

~Clean the oven (if you feel like it, which I usually don't)

~Re-organize the cabinets.

~Make labels for where things go if you (like me) seem to be the only person around who knows where things belong.

~Scrub around the edges of the cabinets and the refrigerator

~Clean the floor

Family Rooms:

~Re-organize anything that needs to be organized.

~Clean floor.

~Show people where re-organized things go and hope they remember. Possibly make aforementioned labels if appropriate.

~Dust.

~Clean out closets.

Office/Desk Area:

~Organize desk.

~Go through files, etc. and toss what you don't need.

~Stack up anything you don't necessarily need to deal with so it at least looks nice. Yes, this is a genuine method. Hush.

Bedrooms:

~Go through closets and organize, trash, give away.

~Weed through kids' junk toys and stuff when they aren't home. If you're worried they might miss it, toss it in a box temporarily and if they've not noticed after a while make a little trip to the Goodwill.

~Go through bed side tables and put away books and anything else that needs to be taken care of.

~Dust. ::sigh::

~Make sure you have baby stuff ready. Obviously.

Basement/Garage:

~Close your eyes. Tell yourself it's your husband's territory. Don't worry about it. Other than maybe cleaning out the extra refrigerator so you don't get grossed out. Consider paying one of your older kids to do this. Actually, consider paying your older kids to do anything in any of these categories. Bribery works too. Not that I have experience in that or anything. I've just heard.

That's it. That's all I've got. Feel free to let me know if I missed anything glaringly obvious. If I think of anything significant that I forgot I'll come back and add it in. Especially since at the rate my brain seems to be moving these days I may just need the posts to remind myself of what to do later on this year.

I'd also love to hear what *you* do!

Post with details coming soon...pinky promise.

preparing for babypart 5stocking the freezer and easy meals~

~for previous posts in the series, click on the banner  :)

There is no way that I had an evening to myself on Wednesday and enjoyed sitting outside at Panera working on this post for over an hour only to have the computer freeze up on me and lose the entire thing.  Stuff like that never happens to me; just in case you were wondering.

eh~


It is without question that having meals on hand after the birth of a baby are tremendously helpful.  It is equally helpful to have things on hand to make creating those meals easy.  Multiple births have taught me that the time and energy invested are most definitely worth it.


I like to stock my freezer with a lot of meals.  Around 34-36 weeks, or whenever I am mostly done with the other preparations (except cleaning) I plan what I want to make for my freezer.  I sit down and make a list of meals my family enjoys that are freezer friendly.  I plan a cooking day (usually a Saturday for me) and figure out how much I can reasonably accomplish in one day.  I make a list of what I will need from the store, (don't forget disposable ziploc bags and foil pans!) and do my shopping a couple of days in advance.  


Ideally you will be able to get a lot of prep work done before your cooking day (chicken cooked/shredded, meat browned, veggies chopped, etc.) but if you can't then just plan it into your day.  No worries.


I wish I could give you some really great tips on freezer cooking. Sadly, that is not really my area of expertise.  I just get it done.  I try and be as efficient as possible, but it's really just been trial and error.  Every time I do it it gets easier.  And this is something I actually try and do at least a couple of times of year, even when I'm not pregnant.  It's just really helpful.  Some really resourceful and impressive people do it on an ongoing basis, always doubling or tripling recipes and sticking the extras in the freezer.  Hopefully I'll be that impressive one day, but for now this works for me.  I can't really get my brain around adding anything else to my life right now.  :)


While I mainly just use my own recipes that I've gathered from all over the place, one book in particular that helped me a lot the first few times I did it was Don't Panic - Dinner's In the Freezer.  I really only used a handful of the recipes (though there were a lot that sounded promising) and tweaked them to my liking.  But reading about the process was really helpful.  


And if the idea of big cooking day  makes you panic is a bit overwhelming, just having some things in your freezer to simplify meal making is really handy.  If I were only going to do some very basic freezer preparations I would have pre-cooked, shredded chicken in ziploc bags (Dear Costco, I love you.), browned hamburger and onion pre-measured into ziploc bags of approximately 1lb each, and various chopped, frozen veggies.  I would also have some frozen fruit since we like to make a lot of smoothies.  Just having these basic things will enable you to throw together quite a few meals quickly.  Even more so if you have dry ingredient mixes already prepared for things like chicken pot pie, casseroles, etc. and broth on hand to put together soups, stews, or chili.


(To get a glimpse of what the end of my pregnancy and some of the freezer prep I did with Grace, read here.  You have to scroll down a bit to get past the pregnancy update but down a ways is a good picture of what life looks like around here toward the end of my pregnancies.)


Here is a list of what I made before I had Grace just to give you some ideas.  If you click on recipes, it will take you to some of these.



6 meatloaves (yep, with hidden zucchini again...shhh)
4 chicken casseroles
3 sesame chicken
3 chicken enchiladas
2 bags chicken in raspberry walnut vinagarette  (edit: won't use this again, it was not good as a marinade!)
2 bags chicken in some other marinade I can't remember :o)
4 bags beef brisket
15lbs browned hamburger with onions
10c. cooked, shredded chicken
some hot dogs and beef smoked sausage for easy, fast meals (i know, i know...yuck. but i have kids, people. kids)
turkey bacon & turkey sausage

several bags frozen chicken tenderloins
we still have a huge amount of beef from the cow we split with my dad
a ridiculous amount of frozen veggies
a stack of pizzas and gluten free pizza crusts
frozen waffles & french toast sticks
whole rotesserie chickens in freezer ready to be thawed and reheated; which they do beautifully


Next time I will probably make some of the same stuff and also some different things.  Some other ideas and meals I made in my first trimester (which we ate during the fall and winter months) were:


cheesy chicken vermicelli
chicken & rice soup
white chicken chili
chicken casserole
chicken tenderloins frozen in egg to make homemade chicken tenders quickly
chicken pot pie
lentil soup
tortilla soup

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is also nice to make a list of fairly easy to make meals to be able to reference when you just can't seem to think of anything to make.  Meal planning is really great, and I would love to do it more often, but truthfully, I don't do it nearly as often as I could.  Okay, okay.  I rarely do it.  I generally have an idea in my head of what I might possibly make, but I am not a meal planner on a regular basis.  So it is helpful for me to keep a list on hand (I tape it inside one of my cabinets) of  meals I can usually put together from things in my pantry and freezer.  

These are a few of the meals that are pretty easy around here.  Usually.

spaghetti 

tacos 

sloppy joes

chili

(these are considered easy since I keep browned beef in the freezer)

anything grilled - fish, burgers, grilled chicken

baked potatos with various toppings

breakfast food 

rice with creamed chicken and veggies

roast

and obviously anything I can pull out of the freezer, already made  :)

What foods and meals do you  like to have on hand?

preparing for babypart 4pantry items~

 

Find Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 of the Preparing for Baby Series here

So we've covered first trimester preparation, baby stuff, and non food items.  Next comes the tricky part.  Pantry items.  Again, you'll want to take into consideration your budget, storage space, and your family's needs and habits.  This is where your list could vary greatly from mine.  The point is that you will want to figure out what non-perishable/staple food items your family uses on a regular basis and how much of a stockpile you want to have on hand.  

Now, we like to have some food stockpiled anyway, so it just made sense to add some to it.  Like before, I was aiming for an approximate six month stockpile.  And like before, on some things I overestimated  :)   That worked out okay since we like to keep food on hand (our power goes out frequently; three times in the last two weeks, in fact!)

Since I tend to have my babies pretty early (no haters, I did have a 15 day late baby!) I like to have everything done by 38 weeks at the latest.  This includes everything previously mentioned, and also my house completely clean and in order.  I save the cleaning for last (since with seven kids it's not like it's actually going to stay that way for long.)  I also like to take the cleaning kind of slow (seeing as how 9 1/2 babies inside a 5'2" body don't lend themselves to cleaningly quickly, easily, or comfortably) so some of it overlaps with the other stuff, but I'll get to that eventually.  Hopefully. (This is taking more work than I anticipated.)

Back to the point.  Between 30 and 32 weeks I like to get the non-food items stocked up.  Then around 32-34 weeks I like to get the pantry items stocked up.  It's not like the timetable is set in stone, it just kind of gets me organized and gives me a general goal to aim for.

First, you will want to go through your cupboards and make a list of all the non-perishable food items you use regularly.  Figure out how much you want to have on hand (taking into account that if you prefer  tutorrosso crushed tomatos with basil that are typically on the bottom shelf and shoved behind the regular tomatos your husband will probably not have the patience to find them and will come home with regular diced tomatos instead.  Not that my husband would ever do anything like that.  But still, you should consider it.  Ha ha)  And make your list accordingly.  Do make sure you pay attention to expiration dates if you are aiming long term so that you don't end up with expired pretzels and have an internal dilemma over whether or not it's acceptable to give them to the church pantry since you did eat some and they taste fine.  But still.  (Don't worry, I didn't give them to the church pantry.)

To give you some ideas, this is what my list with Grace looked like:

*premixed cornbread bags (my husband has celiac and therefore I have to make things with alternative flours.   The cornbread we make is a combination of several different things, so I mix all the dry ingredients up and store them in quart ziplocs so when we want cornbread we just grab a bag, add the wet ingredients, and bake.  Otherwise, I would never get around to making cornbread.  Which he loves.  Sorry, that was a long paragraph.)

*premixed chicken pot pie topping bags (re-read above description)

*premixed biscuit mix (same thing.  Are you observing a pattern?  If you frequently bake things that require multiple dry ingredients, it is super helpful to mix large batches and store them in grab and go bags.  I do this regularly, otherwise I would never bake anything.  I already said that, sorry.)

*24 jars spaghetti sauce

*48 boxes of gluten free spaghetti (We use two at a time, we eat spaghetti approximately once a week, therefore to have around six months' supply I needed 48.)

*taco shells

*tortilla chips

*taco seasoning mix

*sugar

*salt/pepper

*flour/baking powder/etc.

*baking soda

*6 bottles of ketchup

*24 bags of pretzels

*6 boxes of tea bags

*bacon bits  (baked potatos are an easy, quick, and filling meal)

*12 large cans fruit cocktail (its a lot cheaper to buy in #10 cans and I just rinse it really well)

*96 cans of corn (we've since switched to mostly frozen vegetables, so next time I will be stocking up on those instead.  We do have an extra freezer which I would highly suggest getting if you are able.  We got ours on craigslist.  But it's still a good idea to keep canned foods on hand as well in case of power outages.)

*48 cans of peas

*24 cans of carrots

*12 cans petite cut diced tomatos

*12 cans each black, pinto, and kidney beans

*tomato basil soup ingredients

*96 cans baked beans

*chocolate chips

*granola bars

*baking m&ms

*24 containers of peanuts

*icing

*bbq sauce

*various other salad dressings, marinades, etc. that I might use 

*popcorn and paper bags (we pop regular popcorn in brown paper bags)

*a ridiculous amount of cereal

*an equally ridiculous amount of oatmeal

*2, 25lb bags of rice

*12 jars peanut butter

*2-3 jars of honey

*we get canned jelly from my grandparents, but you'll want this too if you eat a lot of jelly)

*tamari sauce (gf soy sauce)

*vinegars/cooking wine/etc.

*spices
*garlic

*you get the point

This was my basic list.  I'm sure I thought of other things while I was at the store.  Costco was great for quite a few of these things.  I also use Amazon quite a bit for some of this stuff.

Up next, stocking the freezer...

preparing for babypart 3non food items~

Click on the banner to read all of the Preparing For Baby Series

When I was expecting my first baby I was working full time.  I continued to do that until the day before she was born.  My preparations looked like any first time mother's.  I registered, had a couple of baby showers, got the room ready, and that was about it.  It never occured to me to do much else...  

Until the night before she was born.  I (ignorantly) decided to be induced for no good reason other than impatience, so I knew the next day was the day.  I rushed around like a crazy lady trying to get everything clean.  There wasn't really a whole lot I needed to do since it was just Glen and myself at home, but I did want to have everything nice, clean, and in order.  (Which ended up coming in handy since I couldn't walk for two weeks.  But that's a different story...)   It didn't occur to me to have meals prepared or extra supplies on hand.  Now, with a first baby (and possibly even a second) it wasn't a huge deal to not have much prepared or stocked up, but once you hit that third baby, it is quite advantageous to put a little forethought into baby preparation.

So I approach baby preparation with these things in mind:

*not having to get my husband to have to pick up anything other than perishables in the days following the   birth

*having enough paper products and non perishables food items on hand to last for awhile to make shopping trips with an infant as infrequent and quick as possible

*having some meals in the freezer for those days

*having supplies and ingredients for quick meals on hand

*having the clothes organized, bedding ready, and house cleaned

I am an intense nester.  After that intial first trimester cooking spree, it kicks in again around week 18 when we find out the gender (earlier in the case of Grace.)  Once I know boy or girl the clothes are out, washed and folded by 20 weeks. Seriously.  With Grace, since I found out way early, I think I had clothes out by like 16 weeks.  But that's my OCD shining through.  I don't think that's normal.  I have friends that can be overdue and say things like, "I guess I should get some clothes out of the attic,"  or  (cannot imagine in a million years) don't even find out what they're having!  I feel faint even thinking about it  :)

Anyway, the first things I begin to stock up on are paper goods and other non-food items.  I do this starting around 30 weeks or so.  I usually spread it out over a few weeks of shopping and often will get coupons from the coupon clippers. Over the years, and as my family has grown, my goals for quantity have changed.  You will need to think about your budget, your habits, how much you like shopping (considering that you will have an infant in tow and possibly other children), distance from the store, and storage space.  With Grace I wanted to have a stockpile of non food items to last six months.  That is probably quite a bit more than most people will want to have, but for me it was great.  

This is my preparing for baby checklist #1~

Baby~

*newborn diapers

*size 1 diapers

*diapers for other children

*diaper cream/baby powder

*baby wipes

*baby lotion

*infant gas drops

*infant tylenol & motrin

*pacifiers

*bottles if needed
*lansinoh - if you are nursing, you will want this.  Trust me.
*nursing pads possibly

Personal Care/Household~

*shampoo/conditioner

*soap/body wash

*hand soap and lotion

*toothpaste and toothbrushes

*razor blades/shaving cream

*any medicines you use on a regular basis 
(non prescription, if you can get prescription meds in advance that's great, too)

*laundry detergent/fabric softener

*stain remover

*deodarant

*feminine products

*toilet paper

*bathroom trash bags

Kitchen~

*paper towels

*napkins

*paper plates

*kitchen trash bags

*sandwich bags

*freezer bags (quart and gallon)

*dishwashing detergent

*dishwasher detergent


That's it.  I kind of miscalculated with Grace.  She was the first one that I aimed for a six month stockpile.  I ended up with almost a year's worth of supplies in some things!  Next time, I don't think I'll be quite as ambitious in my quantities, but nevertheless it came in handy!

preparing for babypart 2baby stuff~

Click on the banner for the complete Preparing For Baby Series  :)

I wanted to take a minute to say that these posts are by no means meant to come across as Super Mom posts.  For someone that loves to be prepared and feel like things are under control then I hope they will be helpful.  But some people thrive on spontanaity and have those fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants personalities; very free-spirited, and I never want to make someone feel like they are failures or don't have it all together like I do.  (cough, choke, spit...ahem...)   :)


I am a planner.  A huge planner.  I think it has something to do with my needing to feel in control of everything, but regardless of the reason, I love to plan things.  I'm not always so great on the follow through, but if all else fails, at least I have a plan  :)


So while there are plenty of lists to be found online about what you need to have on hand for a baby, this is my list of essentials.  It's what I've figured out works for us after seven children. And it falls into the whole Preparing for Baby series by being what I like to have accomplished around twenty weeks or so.  Well, the clothes and bedding part.  The equipment can wait, especially if it's a first baby and you're going to be having a shower.  


These are the things I have found to be actually used and needed.  But, for example, I don't do baby bows or shoes.  If you do, then you will want to add those to your list.  On the otherhand, I do gas drops like they are liquid gold and use the bouncy seat extensively.  If you're a sling kind of gal, then you may not need the bouncy seat.  If you cloth diaper, you will definitely want to add those to the list.  (And by the way, cloth diapering falls into the Super Mom category.  Yet another reason why I am not in that category.)


Baby Clothes You Actually Need~
*Lots of pajamas. I personally like Gymboree and Gap sleepers and two piece pajama sets, but I buy them off ebay.   Babies spit up and their diapers leak a lot, so you will want extra.  My babies live in pajamas the first two months of their life.  I like to get cute ones that are perfectly acceptable to take them out in.  I like to make sure my babies stay warm, so I don't typically do onesies until they are older.  Again, that's me, but other than a couple of going out outfits we just do cute pajamas.  But make sure you have a lot, unless you want to be doing a lot of laundry.  I have had several late spring/summer babies and I still find that 90% of the time I use long sleeved pajamas.  Some lists will point out convenience issues of zippers vs gowns vs pants, etc.  Honestly, I buy what I think is cute and deal with it.  It's not that hard to slide baby legs in and out of pajamas.  Six month olds, well, that can be a little trickier :)


*Two or three "dress up" outfits.  For church, going out, whatever.  But they don't need a lot.  I mean, feel free to have as many as you want, but they don't actually need that many.  I just like to buy the cute pajamas since that's what I see them in most of the time.


*Socks.  If you use them.


That's really about it in the clothing department.  Though with the state of my brain I'm probably missing something glaringly obvious, like underwear.  Except that babies don't need underwear.  Though for baby girls a few cute diaper covers could definitely be in order.


Bedding, Etc.~
*Five or six blankets.  Not huge blankets, but just regular blankets.  I tend (again) to like Gymboree and Gap blankets (again, off ebay mostly.)  They are thicker and more substantial than receiving blankets, but not huge.  Great for swaddling, covering up while nursing, laying flat to change a diaper, burping etc.  Due to the whole spit up/diaper issue previously mentioned you'll probably want a handful.


*A few burp cloths.  I don't use these a whole lot, I tend to just use the blanket, but my fabulous sister in law makes super cute ones and uses them a lot, so again, your mileage may vary.  (I know, I know.  I'm supposed to be telling you what you actually need but some of these things just aren't scientific.)


*Whatever you plan to use in the crib or bassinet.  We use a (generously sized) bassinet for the first six months.  This could be a bumper, quilt, etc.  I don't necessarily think this has to be done by twenty weeks either, but for lack of a better place to put it, here it is.


*I like to have one super soft snuggly blanket for those first few weeks  :)


*You may want a nursing cover.  I personally don't use them as I feel like I might as well wear a sign that says, "Hey, I'm nursing over here!"  But a lot of people really like them.  I prefer to just use a blanket.


*The Miracle Blanket.  The best swaddling blanket, hands down.  If you can get past feeling like you're mummifying your baby or putting them in a straight jacket.  Haven absolutely loved his.  We had three or four once we realized he practically lived in them.  Grace didn't really care for being swaddled, so you may want just one to start out until you figure out if your baby likes to be swaddled.


Equipment~
*A bouncy seat.  If I could only have one thing it would be a bouncy seat.  They are easily portable, the baby can sleep in them, and well, they're bouncy.  Our babies like them.  A lot.


*A swing.  Some babies like them, some not so much.  But we typically use one quite a bit.


*A baby carrier.  I'm not so much a sling or carrier person so much at first, though they can come in quite handy at the beginning when you're going out and don't want everyone breathing on your baby.  Once older, for me, the ergo is indispensable.  But in the beginning I mostly drag carry them around in the infant seat.


*Infant seat and stroller.  Not that I needed to mention it, but for the sake of being thorough, here it is on the list.


* Bassinet.  We co-sleep a little in the interest of training the baby to recognize night as night (the best to do this is by sleeping and nursing while lying down at night in my opinion) but I put baby in the bassinet right next to the bed at every possible opportunity.  The bassinet stays by our bed for a few weeks, then moves into the baby's room.  Which at our house happens to be our large, vented, walk in closet  :)


*Pack n Play.  Not absolutely necessary, but great for having another place for them to learn to play when they're older.


*Exersaucer.  Around 4ish months our babies have all loved their exersaucer.


*Play mat.  Really comes chronologically before the exersaucer, but it's too much work to change it at this point.  Our babies love and use their play mats.


*Bumbo seat.  How I wish they had these when my older kids were babies.  They are so much fun.  And if you have super squishy babies like me, they look super cute all squished into them.  We also use them for bathtime once they outgrow the baby bathtub.  (Which isn't on my list of necessary items since we just kind of dunk and go.)  But if you use the bumbo seat in the bath, obviously stay with your baby just in case it floats up.  Which has only happened to us once.  But I don't really need to tell you to stay with your baby in the bath anyway.  Obviously.


*High chair.  We prefer those booster kind of seats that attach to an actual chair so we can just slide it under the table.  And they're portable and can be used on the ground as well so they're great for going to the park, church meals, relatives, etc.


*There are plenty of other things you may need; such as a baby gate for stairs, outlet plugs, etc. but that's not really the point of this list so you'll have to find that info somewhere else.  Sorry.  I've got smashed grapes all over the floor since I've been ignoring Grace so that I can write some cleaning up to do before Glen gets home.


That's all I've got for now.  I guess if I figure out something I've left out I can always add it later.  Feel free to leave a comment on what your most used and indispensable baby items are!  And if you read on facebook, leave your comment on the blog so my non-facebook friends can see what you love!

preparing for babypart 1first trimester preparation~

Click on the banner to read the complete Preparing For Baby series  :)

I will confess I feel a bit silly.  Back when I was busy preparing for Grace and was talking about it I had quite a few people ask me questions or comment on what I do to get ready, but it hasn't exactly been a topic of conversation recently.  So to help me not feel quite so silly, I just want to say I decided to put all these in post form for a few different reasons.  Namely, I needed to get it off the sidebar.  I mean, talk about a neglected looking blog!  Secondly, I want to be able to reference should there be a next time.  And hopefully it will come in handy for anyone else that happens to be looking for the info; including maybe my own children one day  ;)


With that said...


Preparing for a new baby is one of my favorite things to do.  It helps the time pass by more quickly and helps you focus on something other than waiting and feeling blah.  While I do lots of nesting and preparing toward the end of my pregnancies, another super helpful thing I've found to do is to make some freezer meals as soon as you get two pink lines.  Seriously.  While meals after the birth of a baby are wonderful, having meals in that first trimester when you don't feel so hot can keep your family from eating pizza five nights a week  be such a blessing  to those around you that do feel like eating.


With the advent of early pregnancy tests, it is not uncommon for women to find out they are expecting as early as four weeks.  That gives most women, give or take, two to four weeks to do a little advance cooking to make that first trimester a bit easier.  Longer if you're lucky.


So what I do as soon as I can is plan a cooking day.  Or a couple.  This really depends on the needs of your family.  Not to mention how badly you are affected by morning sickness.  I usually spend about two full days making some freezer meals.  I plan out in advance the meals I want to prepare and make my grocery list.  I then spend all day Saturday in the kitchen.  And then I usually do it again.  But that's because I have a big family and I really enjoy having meals on hand.  


So part one is pretty straightforward.  When you find out you are pregnant, make some meals for your freezer.  Brown some ground beef and put it in bags in your freezer.  Roast a few chickens, or take the easy way out like me and buy some from Costco, pick them, and store them in your freezer.  If you're really ambitious, make broth for your freezer to have some super nutritious baby-growing food on hand for easy soups.  Stock up on some items for easy meals like noodles, frozen or canned veggies, spaghetti sauce, etc.  


The other thing I attempt to do after I stock my freezer and pantry, but before I start feeling yucky, is do a really good house clean and make sure we've got the whole kids and jobs things figured out pretty well.  No one wants to clean when they feel yucky, and no one wants to be in a messy house when they feel yucky, so if you are able to get your house in a really good order, by all means do it.


Trust me on this one.  You'll thank me for it.  I just wish I had figured it out before baby number six!


To read about my cooking day adventures when I found out I was expecting Grace, read here.