10 June 2009

late night reflections on grace
(on being thankful)~

I sit here typing with aching shoulder and two hands recently freed from holding a tired baby. My foot is bouncing up and down in an effort to lull my tiny one into dreamland. As I was holding her, wishing she would settle down so I could get back to what I was wanting to do, I looked down at her soft head snuggled in the crook of my arm, knowing all too well how soon it will pass (I've walked this road before), and once again, my heart melted. How blessed am I.

My days are filled with busy children, tired babies, dishes to wash, meals to prepare, laundry to fold, toys to pick up, schoolwork to grade, messes to wipe up, bodies to scrub, arguments to settle, and life lessons to teach. Yet through the busyness and never ending list of things to do and do again, the Father has shown me how profoundly blessed am I.

It's not easy, and it's not always fun. But what I'm doing here matters. It matters very much to seven little people whose lives would be very different if I followed the path the world often deems the more valuable one. That knowledge that He, the One who created each of those little people, would show me His way and turn my heart toward theirs, allowing me the privilege to point them to the Lover of Their Souls...how blessed am I.

I could have missed it. One different decision, be it made in selfishness or ignorance, and the course of our lives would have been different. But when we, Glen and I, started on this journey together, we vocally, together, committed our way to Him, asking and trusting Him to direct our path. We had no idea that we would be entrusted with seven souls to guide and point to the Father. To shepherd and disciple. The gravity of that is more than I can wrap my mind around, much less work out in my own strength; so I daily go to Him, trusting that He who began this good work will carry it on to completion. That His grace is sufficient and in my weakness, He can shine. His power can be made perfect. I can rest in knowing it's all Him. How blessed am I.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you,
so that in all things at all times,
having all that you need,
you will abound in every good work.

As it is written:

"He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor;

his righteousness endures forever."

Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food

will also supply and increase your store of seed
and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness."

2 Corinthians 9:8-10
(my current life verse)

I've been learning about strength. The Father's verses mine. I am finding peace and joy in the realization that when I let it be all about Him that He can be glorified in my mothering.. For when it's done in His strength, according to His plan for my days, I do a much better job than when it's all about me. And I've been living it these past weeks. I've had a taste. When my help went home and real life returned after Grace was born, I had a choice: get overwhelmed, discouraged, and even angry at all I needed to start doing again, or be thankful. Choosing to see not the diapers and dirty floors, but the great honor and privilege I have in being a mother. A mother that is there. And embracing all that it encompasses. Not every mother has that privilege, and not every mother realizes what a gift it truly is. And I have both; circumstances that allow me to stay home, and the truth in my heart that it's the most important thing I can do with my life. And I am finding joy. Unfortunately, I have not always loved to stay home, and I have not always loved being around my children so much. But He has brought me far, taught me much, spoken to my spirit, and worked in my heart. How blessed am I.

May you be blessed,

as I have been.

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Rachel Wilson said...

beautifully said.

mamatutwo said...

That is a wonderful and encouraging post. We are both truly blessed.

"How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about arithmetic, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness." ~GK Chesterton

2012 November

2012 November