the s word~

**I've recently realized that some of my friends read these notes on Facebook. I just wanted to say really quick, that I'm not sure if you can tell through the format on Facebook, but I actually write these notes on my blog, and they post on FB as well. Sometimes the formatting comes through differently on FB, so if something looks funny, or if you just want to see the blog, the link is somewhere under my wall, or profile, or somewhere :o)

So anyway, back to the s word. Not stupid, or shutup, or especially not that other one. Those are all no, nos around here. I'm talking about him. About Santa. Now, before you remember my "halloween is evil" post and choose to read no further, hear me out. In the interest of full disclosure, I will say up front that we do not "do" Santa. But I'm not going to go completely all "Santa is evil and you're not a real Christian if you tell your kids about him" on you, so give me a few minutes. And of course I would love to hear your thoughts, so leave me a comment.

This is one of the questions I was recently asked, and I actually get asked a couple of times every year.

"Quick question. What's your take on Santa? Do y'all "do" Santa? I know you had strong feeling about halloween (understandably) so I just wondered what you thought about Santa. Just curious :)"

Good question, I'm so glad you asked ;o)

So no, we do not tell our children that Santa is real. There are really a lot of reasons why we made this decision, and this was actually one of the things we discussed before we had children. Both of us agreed we would not teach our children that Santa was real and there were basically two reasons.

First of all, Glen grew up in a home where they didn't "do" Santa. I've never actually asked his Mom why, so I'm not sure if it was because of religious/spiritual convictions, or if it was because his father was seriously ill throughout much of his childhood, causing finances to be very tight. His Dad then died when he was seven, and many years, their only Christmas came through church or friends.

My experience had been the opposite. Santa was HUGE in our house. Huge. We also lived next door to my grandmother, two great aunts, and my aunt, none of whom were married and all of whom worked. They all lived together so had lots of disposable income, as well as lots of credit cards. So we had family gifts on Christmas Eve, and Santa gifts on Christmas morning. Both times the living room was so full of presents for me and my two sisters that there was just enough room to sit and that was it. It was ridiculous. My family went out of their way to convince us he was real. We had be asleep by midnight, or (gasp!) he might not come! I was the last kid I knew to still believe in Santa. I vividly remember thinking surely my parents would not lie to me, so even though all my friends said he wasn't real, I still believed. Of course my parents always said Christmas was about Jesus, but that's not what it looked like it was about to me. It was all about him. And then, once we were older, my parents tried to incorporate Advent and actually make Jesus' coming to earth for us an integral part of our celebration, my sisters and I wanted no part of it. Advent devotionals were boring when you could be looking through catalogs and making Christmas lists.

So that's where we started. Of course, my family was not happy. They still think we've gone off the deep end, but that really comes from our lifestyle choices in general, the Santa thing just being one of many ways we are weird. And now that my sister has a baby, we are under strict orders that no one is to tell her the truth. The truth? Saying it that way sounds almost convicting, doesn't it? I'm not picking on my sister or anyone else.
We are one of very few families we know that don't do Santa, and I completely understand and respect her and her husband's desire to make Santa a fun part of Christmas for their family, so I have no intention of undermining them, or anyone else's children either. Our kids know that they are pretty much the only ones that know that know the truth, and have done a pretty good job and just keeping their lips sealed when the Santa topic comes up.

As we've grown and learned and read, we've come to a much deeper conviction regarding Santa than we started out with. My experience with Santa worship fun in Christmas would probably not have been enough to leave us with a lasting conviction to leave him out. After all, we could choose to not make receiving gifts such a huge part of Christmas, we could do it smaller. So why make the decision to yet another thing different from everyone around us? I mean, it's so much fun. Shouldn't we just lighten up? Is it really necessary to deprive our children of this childhood right? It's not a big deal. Really.

Really?
Humor me while I share a few thoughts.

First of all, what is our ultimate goal in raising our children? That they would love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, right? That they would trust Jesus to be their Savior. So every decision we make should really be viewed in light of this goal.

So how does Santa fit in?
He's just a fun tradition that really only comes up for a month or two out of each year.
Right?

In order for us to teach and disciple our children, we need to have their hearts. They need to trust us. Completely. I've never been one to put a lot of stock in the argument that our children will not trust us that Jesus is real if they find out we've lied about Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc. but I've heard enough reports from other parents to know that for some kids this is a real issue. I would think that if you are raising your children in an environment that makes Jesus the center of life in general, where it really is all about Him, that your children would see the difference. But it is something to think about.

So what next? I'm not going to get into the arguments Christmas being a pagan holiday. Truthfully, I've not researched it a lot, but I have done enough investigating that you can pretty much find persuasive arguments to support both sides of the controversy. I'm not discussing Christmas, just Santa. So here is some of what I've learned.

Have you ever taken the time to consider the similarities between Jesus and Santa, yet the different messages each story sends?

1. We teach our children that Santa is always watching, to see if they are bad or good. Do you want your children living to please the Lord, or being good so they can get presents? Do you want your children to be taught that Santa is all seeing, and all knowing, just like God, but later have to tell them, "Well, you know, Santa doesn't really do those things, but you should still believe that God does?"

2. With Santa, we teach them that through their behavior, they can "earn" rewards. But they better not cry, or pout, or too bad for them. I want my children to know they can never earn the reward of eternal life, they can never be good enough on their own. I want them to know that every good gift comes from the Father of Lights, and it is his gift of grace to us. We cannot be "good" enough. And again, do I want them to learn to choose obedience (goodness) because they are trying to earn a reward, or do I want it to come out of love for what Jesus did for them?

3. Did you know that Kriss Kringle is German for "little Christ Child?" Hmmm. Which leads me to make another point.

4. In teaching our children about Santa, we are essentially teaching the a gospel entirely different than the true gospel. What is the gospel? The Good News! That Jesus died that we might receive the ultimate gift, the undeserved gift of forgiveness of sins and eternal life. When we teach our children about Santa, are we not teaching an opposite gospel? That we will receive good gifts based on *our* ability to be good? We are teaching them that they can earn their gifts and that when they receive them, it must be because they have earned them and that they deserve them.

Galatians 1: 6-11...

"I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel - which is really no gospel at all. Evidently, some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally comdemned! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. I want you to know, brothers, that the gospel I preached is not something that man made up."

It is no secret that Satan has taken hold of so many things that were meant for good and perverted them to draw attention away from the Father and draw men's hearts away from the Lord. Not to get too "conspiracy theory" on you, but it is a valid point. I really believe Satan has found much pleasure in making the focus of Christmas on self, stuff, consumerism, you name it. And I believe that He takes particular delight when the foundational years of our children are spent teaching them a myth, causing the focus to be on gimme, gimme, gimme, when we could instill in them a thankfulness and awe toward what it really meant for God to become man and dwell among us. Even in our home, where our children don't believe in Santa but gifts are still given, from us and extended family, it is nearly impossible to really give the Lord the honor and thankfulness He deserves. I am not blaming children for being excited, it is certainly normal for them to be excited over presents, but long term, we feel that any spotlight that could have been given to Jesus is overwhelming stolen by Santa.

Our God is a jealous God. In Exodus 34:14 , God calls Himself by the actual name "Jealous." He does not want His glory usurped by another. If I teach my children to believe in Santa and all his magic, in all of his god-like qualities, am I not giving my God, my Savior's glory to another?

I truly believe Satan, in his efforts to "become like the Most High" (Isaiah 14:12-14) he has created Santa and caused the majority of the world to celebrate him, in one form or another. Whether it be St Nick (yes, I know the history of this and have taught it to the children), Kriss Kringle, or good ol Santa Claus.

If you don't believe Satan has set himself (in the idol of Santa) to be like the Most High, this numerous list of similarities will surprise you...

God the Father has hair like white wool (Revelation 1:14)

God the Father has a beard (Isaiah 50:6)

Jesus will come in a red garment (Isaiah 63:1-2)

The hour of His coming is a mystery

God comes from the North where He lives (Ezekiel 1:4, Psalm 48:2)

Jesus was a carpenter, Santa is a toy carpenter

Jesus will come just like a thief in the night, Santa comes like a thief in the night

God is omnipotent (all powerful - Revelation 19:6), Santa is all powerful, He can fly around the world and visit every single home in one night, delivering gifts to every single child (as long as their parents can afford it)

God is omnipresent (Psalm 139:7-10, Ephesians 4:6, John 3:13), Santa can see and hear everything as well.

God is omniscient (knows all - Hebrews 4:13, I John 3:20), Santa knows if you've been bad or good

God is ageless and eternal (Revelation 1:8, 21:6), Santa lives forever

God is a Giver of Gifts (Ephesians 4:8)

God sits on a throne, Santa sits on a throne when our children come before him

We are to boldly go before the throne of grace for our requests (Hebrews 4:16), children are told to boldly approach Santa on his throne to present their requests.

God commands children to obey their parents, so does Santa

Jesus wants the little children to come to him (Mark 10:14), Santa (and parents) tell the little children to come to him.

God judges, Santa judges whether children have been good or bad.

God is the Everlasting Father, Santa calls himself Father Christmas

Jesus is the Christ Child, Santa calls himself Kriss Kringle (Christ child)

God is worthy of our prayers and worship, in some countries, children are taught to pray to St. Nick/Nicholas

God is the Lord of Hosts, Santa is lord over a host of elves (and in Druidic religion, elves are demons)

God says, "Ho, ho" (Zechariah 2:6, really, look it upin the KJV)

Jesus is the Prince of Peace, and the Image of God, Santa is a symbol of world peace and the image of the Christmas holiday.

Jesus said, "Ask, and it shall be given to you." Does Santa not say the same thing?

(credit goes to Hampshire View Baptist Deaf Church for most of this list.)

Amazing, huh? I can't help but read these and be amazed at how blatantly Satan has tried to masquerade as an angel of light, to pull the wool over our eyes, to set himself up as God in the hearts of our children. All while convincing the Church, God's people, that it's all in good fun. I know it's unpopular to not teach your children to believe in Santa, but as Christians we are expressly called to be in the world but not of it. That means doing unpopular things and taking unpopular stances sometimes. I don't want to take away fun from my children, I just view it in light of teaching them to always, always, set Christ up in their hearts as Lord. For Him to be first. For there to be no other, and for all competition to be recognized and dealt with.

Think about your experience with Santa vs your experience with God as a child. For most of us, Santa was jolly good fun, a great alternative to God, who was very powerful and kind of scary. And not only were they both watching to see if you are bad or good, but God might squash you if you are bad. (Do you not think Satan takes great delight in this?)

For a really good, in depth study, check out Santa Claus: The Great Imposter.

Another thing I think about, unrelated to faith, is the disparity between what children receive. How does little Johnny feel when his friend gets everything on his list, but all his Mom can afford Santa gives him is one or two small toys and a sweater?

It is so much not my heart to condemn, criticize, or point fingers. I hope you know that. It is my heart that we as mothers teach our children to love the Lord first of all, and most of all, and that you would be encouraged to follow the Lord even when it's hard, even when it goes against culture. Especially when it goes against the world, for that is when it is usually vital. When it really matters.

In closing, let me ask you, are you resisting this idea? Justifying it? Rationalizing it? Calling it "condemnation" so that's a good enough reason to say it's not from God? Did it make you mad? Frustrated? Do you feel judged? (Please don't feel like I'm judging you!) But if you have felt any of these things, take a minute to ask yourself why. Actually stop for a minute, and figure out why. Now, is that a good reason to throw it out without even considering it, praying about it, and talking with your husband about it? Are you willing to really listen to what God might want you to do, should He possibly be asking you to reconsider the idea of teaching your children about Santa? All I ask is that you be willing to listen to Him if He is trying to tell you something. That's all.

Here are a few Scripture to give you something to consider the Santa thing in light of...

"You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men." Mark 7:8

And He said to them, "You have a fine way of setting aside the command of God in order to observe your own traditions." Mark 7:9

Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that. Mark 7:13

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human traditions and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. Colossians 2:8

For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form..." Colossians 2:9

So in our house, this is what Christmas looks like. We do a Jesse Tree. This teaches our kids a different Name of God, attribute of God, or sometimes a Bible story that points to Jesus a the Savior every day from 1 Dec to Christmas Day. They learn that Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega, that God using Noah was a picture of how He would one day send Jesus, why Jesus is said to come from the root of Jesse, and lots of other things. That link can explain it and they even sell the supplies if you're interested.

We keep December simple. We don't do lots of parties or outside activities. We want to be able to enjoy the Advent season, and when we are overwhelmed and consumed by outside things, the month becomes overloaded, frantic, and just plain too busy to be able to focus on Emmanuel, God With Us. God With Us. Wow.

On Christmas Eve, we get together with my family and exchange gifts. Until this year, our children were the only children on my side of the family, with lots of aunts, uncles, and grandparents waiting eagerly to lavish our deprived precious children with junk gifts. This year they have a new little cousin, and really, I would be thrilled if maybe all the gifts could go to her instead ;o) Keep in mind, these are the same family members that overloaded my sisters and me, Two, even three gifts per child would make me happy. Absolutely thrilled. We're talking at least twenty gifts per child, no joke. Times six kids. Times however many parts and pieces each gift has. If you don't hear from me until February, someone come rescue me because I am probably suffocating under a large pile of toys. I am thankful, but this is excessive. Now you know what we're up against.

Anyway, at some point, we get together with Glen's family, and we will also go to Kentucky where all my Dad's family lives. Christmas morning is just us, and each one of our kids gets a couple of small, fun gifts in their stocking, and we usually try and get to be the ones that give them the one thing they are *really* wanting.

So as you can see, they are anything but deprived. Even without Santa, it is an uphill battle to keep the focus on Jesus. I am just trusting the Lord to see our hearts and that He is big enough to work out the rest. His grace. Always.

tales from the couch~

You know, it's interesting to observe life from only two vantage points. The bed and the couch. My bed only allows for me to hear strange noises that are usually a cause for concern, so I've been spending the majority of my time on the couch. It's right in the middle of everything. I can observe, see, and direct traffic. Thankfully, my children are quite helpful and obedient, so as long as they don't figure out they could easily take over the house and eat cookies all day long and there's not a lot I will actually do about it, then we're doing pretty well.

Overheard from the couch...

Caleb~ "I'm the man of the house."

Anna~ "No you are not!"

Caleb~ "Well, when Dad's not here I am."

Anna~ "Well then, that makes me the Mom."

Anna~ "Have you noticed since Mom's been sick, we haven't gotten any spankings?"

Caleb~ "Yeah, you're right."

Anna~ "I hope she stays sick for awhile. Well...I mean, not, but....well, you know what I mean."

Let me just say here, that I don't feel like I actually spank that often. It does happen though. I thought this was a funny observation. And it's not that they've needed any spankings. I cannot say enough about how impressed I have been with ALL my children the last week.

First of all, it was sweet beyond words to see how concerned they have been for me and the baby. Several of them were in tears that first night, and since then, I have gotten more spontaneous hugs, kisses, and flowers than I can count. They have been helpful beyond their years, and 99% of the time it has been with a cheerful attitude.

And they have been doing a LOT. Especially the older ones. Anna and Caleb have graduated to cleaning the entire kitchen together. Ethan and Moriah have taken over their previous job of clearing and wiping the table and chairs as well as sweeping the floor. Anna has been doing the laundry, washing, drying, folding, and sorting all on her own. I have heard not one complaint. Unfortunately, the harshest words spoken around here have been from me when their attempts at helping haven't met up with my perfectionist standards. I've had to do a lot of apologizing. Well, not tons, but I wish I was always full of sweetness and encouraging words. That is a skill it is taking me huge amounts of effort to learn :o(

So the main parts of my house are liveable, we won't talk about what my desk looks like, and I don't want to even imagine what the upstairs looks like. Actually, yes, I do want to imagine. I want to imagine the upstairs is in perfect, Pottery Barn-like condition with children playing happily on the carpet with ONE game that they will promptly store in the appropriate color coordinated, personalized bin as soon as they are done playing.

A girl can dream....

I am most definitely in a season of life where I am learning (yet again) what is important, and that my children's smiles are more important and valuable than perfectly arranged bookshelves. (sigh.)

Observations from the couch...

**It's amazing how quickly cookie ingredients and a table appear before me when I offer to make cookies if Dad will handle the oven part.

**Children learn very quickly that if they stand directly on the side of the refrigerator, Mom cannot actually see them sneaking cookies.

**Children also learn very quickly that when Mom is "sick," she doesn't care that much if we sneak cookies, within reason of course.

**Pizza is a very easy dinner. (glad to have stocked up in gluten free pizza crusts!)

**Cereal is even easier.

**Meals in the freezer are great in theory, but when you can't actually go to the basement, thaw one and prepare it, they're not actually that helpful.

**Boys (and girls) can wear the same shirt four, five days in a row. No problem. I'm choosing to not ask about the underwear.

**My kids really like reading Proverbs. (Not quite sure how to explain the adultery chapters, though.)

**The skunk must live in our bushes and likes to eat the cat food every night. He doesn't even run off when we go out anymore, just slowly saunters off. You know, he seems friendly enough, maybe I could invite him in to lick clean my floor.

**When one spends all her time on the couch, she can't see or feel the sticky spots on the floor. Out of sight, out of mind :o)

**My husband is actually pretty good at grocery shopping. And since the advent of his gluten free days, he no longer comes home with extras.

**There is always an excuse to take a bubble bath. Sometimes two.

**Not washing one's hair for a week, in assocation with leaving it pulled up constantly and sleeping/laying on it 24/7 leads to early formation of dreadlocks.

**Facebook is lots of fun. Lots. Probably too much.

**My husband doesn't care nearly as much as I do if the sippy cup lid actually matches the cup.

**All of my kids are still small enough to nestle in beside me on the couch.

**Noah likes ER.

**Elliott Moose has got to be the dumbest show I have ever seen.

**Don't send your husband to the video store when he's in a hurry.

**Eight year old boys do not notice pillows on the floor.

**I think all my kids now know when arranging couch cusions that the zippers go on the bottom.

**Fried bologna sandwiches make excellent breakfasts. (I know, you're all cringing now. At least I buy beef bologna!)

**Haven loves the Signing Time DVD, but he loves pushing the tv buttons even more. Noah doesn't like this so much.

**My husband is amazing.

**It is not fun to wean cold turkey. Even if one was only nursing once or twice a day.

**It looks like it is going to be a beautiful fall. Well, that's what it looks like from the couch anyway. Hopefully, I can experience it in person soon.

**Why is it that I can fall asleep in two minutes flat during the day, but at night, it takes two hours?

**It's okay if the canned fruits and vegetables are not stacked in order with the labels facing forward. Really. It is.

**One's backside can only take so much sitting and lying down.

**Why doesn't it bother anyone else that Moriah's panties have been in the little bathroom for days now?

**Haven's socks from last year just aren't cutting it.

**I don't like to talk on the phone. Email me anytime, but if you call me, it will take an act of God to actually get me to return your phone call. Nothing personal, I am just not a phone person. I'm working on this, though.

**I'm getting Christmas catalogs in the mail. Christmas, people! Whatever happened to Thanksgiving? Hello?

**My aunt thinks it's great fun to show up right before naptime with four Route 44 sweet teas from Sonic.

**My extended family is awesome.

**God is faithful. Always.

Just a little taste of life here in sweetie land. I go back to the doctor this afternoon and since I've had no bleeding for a full week now, I am hoping everything is A-OK and that I can resume some light activities. We're doing pretty well, and again, I am so impressed with how my kids have all pitched in to help out. Not to mention Glen. He is awesome, and I thank God for blessing me beyond measure. I love that guy.

she's getting it~

one night, after anna had been in her room for awhile, she came down with a piece of paper. on it she had written what she felt like the Lord was saying to her...

"I know the plans I have for you, Anna, for I am the Father God who you love. I have not abandoned you, Anna, for you love me and I love you. You have opened my eyes and set my new day full of blessing that I pour out on you. I love you with all the love I can ever give you. You are loved so much you can't imagine it. You have very few sins compared to a lot of people. Go and tell the world about me and my love for you and all people, and I shall prepare you and your family for lots of challenging adventures. I love you, Anna."

~is that amazing or what? glen and i were amazed. i will admit, we smiled a little at the few sins compared to most people part. at first i thought, "well, that is probably a little of anna coming through in that part," but the more i thought about it, i realized that nope, that probably was God. that is exactly what she needs to hear and He knows it. she is so sensitive, and tries so hard to please and do everything right. she is by the book. she needs to know that He sees her efforts to obey Him and please Him, and gee...she's a child. she does probably have fewer sins than most people :o)

i love it that she is learning to hear God, that she knows He loves her and wants to be friends with her. that He likes her and wants to talk to her. that He wants a real relationship with her. that He is not a big guy up there ready to squash her when she screws up. i'm still learning that.

now about that challenging adventure part....?

the full introduction~

when i was growing up, i, like probably all children, had this ridiculous idea that parents got to be parents because they had learned everything....then i became a mother while being fully aware that i did not know everything. i couldn't believe that i, who was still very much a silly young girl, was actually someone's mother. only now, ten years and six children later, am i beginning to feel like an actual adult. this was probably compounded by getting married two months after turning 17 (more about that later) and getting pregnant six months later. so i was still a child, who is now getting to learn how to grow up along with my children.

so.....in my being terrified and thinking what a joke to have me for a mom! the Lord began talking to me very clearly one day and encouraged me that i did not have to worry about my children knowing Him. it was not my job to draw them to His heart. yes, i should live my life openly for them to see my passionate love and complete devotion to Him, and should strive to obey His Word and teach them, but i did not need to be fearful that i would ruin my children. aside from His Word, this has been my greatest comfort. and that was the beginning of my journey. little did i know that this was also my warning....God was going to do an incredible work in transforming me and take my family down an unfamiliar and radically different path than almost everyone around us. this process would be messy, and laid out in the open, and my children were going to see it and be in the middle of it. it's hard. we're different, and that is often hard for them. but we are walking in blind faith and trusting Him to cover our family in His grace. i completely believe that the Father was reassuring me that despite what all that was going to look like, His grace was covering it all, and i did not have to fear.

i was told by one of my friends in our wonderful titus 2 group, that usually when God is breaking new ground in the legacy jof a family, or really in any area of our walk with Him, the one in the front gets beat up the most as he or she breaks out of the old stuff and creates the clear path. it requires the most work and the most pain, but.....my children are not going to have do it!!!!!! the way is being made for them to follow and they are going to know God and talk with Him and GET IT.......without having to go through all this stuff!! and THAT makes it all totally worth it. now i am not totally naive, i realize we live in a fallen world and we all have our stuff to work through. i imagine my children will have their stuff too, but they will have grown up in relationship with God and knowing from birth that He wants them, He pursues them, He loves them passionately and intimately, He is their best friend, He is a proud and pleased Father, and He talks WITH them, and answers them, and pretty much all this stuff I've only learned in the last 7 years. and getting that, and being in relationship with Him makes all the difference.

so, as the beginning, that is my life story so far. my eyes are fixed on Him and my heart is trusting in Him as He is gently tearing and ripping all the old stuff out of me. the realization that i am in this process has been slowly revealed to me over the last two years or so, and my mind and heart have being pondering it, i feel now is the time to begin process it outwardly, partly as a help to me, to bring understanding and clarity to my mind, and also to hopefully be an encouragement to other people, particuarly young moms who are in this intense place in life and want more than all else to keep their children's hearts and see them love God passionately.

may we be encouraged that the Lord who is doing incredible work in our hearts is big enough to cover our children in His grace as He molds us, imperfect women trying so hard to be wonderful mothers, into His image and likeness and makes us into who we are called to be in Him...

Here are the two of my most encouraging verses:

"Like a shepherd he pastures His flock:
He gathers the lambs in His arms
And carries them in His bosom;
Gently He drives the mother sheep"
Isaiah 40:11

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And do not rely on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths smooth."
Provers 3:5-6