the birth of everly ~

Wow, it's been awhile since I've done one of these.  Everly's birth was kind of non-dramatic and I just realized I hadn't written about it!  Seeing as how I want to remember all the details it's pretty long.  Fair warning.

I've re-hashed the whole early baby/late baby thing numerous times here, so suffice it to say that when you've had five approximately two-week-early babies, one exactly-on-time baby, and one 15 day late baby that you just don't really know what to expect.  I was particularly uncomfortable at the end of this pregnancy (and bored, SO bored) that I was really hoping she would be early.  She must have been awfully comfy in there because I now have two late babies.  At least it was only three days and not fifteen.  Whew.

To start at the beginning, I just didn't have it in me for a home birth this time.  I didn't feel peaceful about it at all.  Haven and Grace were both 9 1/2 lbs (at 15 days late and 13 days early, respectively) and they were both posterior.  You can read about their births here and here.   Not only were they hard physically (especially Haven's, his was pretty dramatic involving zero pushing stage and being born in the caul) but especially mentally.  My midwife was and is amazing, getting both of them to turn during labor, but it made for long, uncomfortable labors.  I have diastasis pretty badly which I believe contributed to them being posterior and in the event Everly was going to also be posterior I wanted the option of an epidural.  So I went back to my ob that delivered my first three children and initially referred me to my midwife.  I'm so glad I did.  It was a great experience.  And what is up with having THREE 9 1/2 lb babies in a row?  Seriously??

Everly's pregnancy was hard.  I don't think I'd call it my hardest, but it was tiring.  My indigestion was worse than ever before (not that anyone cares, but I'm writing all this done for posterity's sake  :). )  I did all my regular freezer cooking and nesting and by about two weeks prior to her due date I was ready.  Alas, she was not.  So I sat there.  For two weeks.  Wondering if today was the day.  It *was* the beginning of the school year so I had some stuff to occupy me, but I had planned it light not knowing when little Evelyn Rose would make her appearance so it wasn't too big of a deal.  I was so bored.  SO bored.  But I resisted the offers of my doctor to induce me whenever I would like.  He said he was just trying to help me not have to birth another big baby.  I said thanks, but no thanks.  Those first few minutes and hours of realizing it's finally happening are priceless.  Definitely worth waiting for.  It's my favorite part of pregnancy pretty much.  So exciting.

My due date, Thursday, 15 September, came and went.  I remember posting on facebook on Friday night how odd it felt to be waiting to pick up my two oldest kids from a youth group event while being overdue with another sweet baby.  I definitely never imagined I'd be having babies when I had kids in youth group!

On Saturday I had made plans with my aunt to have lunch and go see The Help.  I had secret thoughts of going into labor during the movie but was mentally staying prepared for another very late baby.  We had a great lunch at Red Lobster and then headed to the theatre.  Sure enough, about halfway through I realized I was having some contractions.  Yes!  I discreetly checked my phone and realized that from the onset they were every ten minutes apart.  So I texted Glen and was so content sitting there with my little secret.  When the movie was over I promptly went to the restroom where I discovered that it was definitely the real thing.  I informed my aunt who was going to be the one to keep our kids that she should probably go home and be on call.  She lived with my great aunt and took care of her so we had made plans that my sister Kristen and her husband would come over if it was during the night and my aunt and great aunt would come out in the morning.

I stopped by the store to grab some stuff, went home, did laundry, straightened up, and told the kids.  My contractions pretty much quit while I was moving around but I was losing my mucous plug so I knew things were moving along.  I also realized that she was posterior (she had been anterior up until the last couple of weeks) so I figured it would be another long-ish labor.  I actually really felt that she was more sideways and had mentioned this to my doctor.

(In hindsight I should have known.  That Sunday was our church's day at a nearby YMCA camp which is super fun.  The kids had been looking forward to it all year and I had said so many times that unless we were actually having a baby on. that. very. day. that we would go.  Uh huh.  We had a baby that day.  Poor kids. They took it well.  At least it was raining and they didn't miss out on too much.)

The kids went to bed, Glen and I watched a movie and then went to bed.  I think I slept for about an hour.  My contractions were getting stronger and closer together.  I didn't want to call my sister or wake up Glen because I just wasn't quite ready to be that official yet.  So I sat in the tub and was beginning to have to really breathe through contractions and was having alternating thoughts of wanting to just stay in the tub and thinking I need to get to the hospital so I can get an epidural already.  I should have realized that was a pretty clear sign to go.  Thankfully Glen realized it and said we should probably go.  Not that the birth was imminent or anything but after Haven's literal falling out I think he's just a little nervous.  :)

So we headed to the hospital.  The triage nurse asked (in my opinion kind of disbelieving, like she gets women in all the time "thinking" they are in labor) if I *thought* I was in labor.  I was thinking, "Lady, this is my eighth baby.  Trust me, I'm in labor."  But I just smiled and said that yes, I thought I probably was.  She soon discovered I was about six-seven centimeters so that earned me a trip upstairs to labor and delivery.

Let me back up and say that I was super nervous about having a hospital birth.  Ethan was my last hospital birth and he is about to be ten.  Since then I've become (mostly) anti-vaccine and anti-intervention and I had a lot of concern over how that was going to go down.  After lots of asking questions on facebook I really felt the Holy Spirit telling me to just trust the Father, to pray for favor, and to not worry.  So I did that and was able to quit obsessing.

So when I got to the hospital and they gave me the hospital gown I told them I would really prefer to wear my own clothes.  And they were totally fine with it.  Totally.  They were understanding, accepting, and even sometimes downright supportive of my preferences.  I am so thankful to have had no issues whatsoever.  The only thing was that they insisted on giving her a bath in the nursery and keeping her under the lights for an hour.  I wasn't okay with that.  I thought I could keep her just as warm and I had visions of her lying there hungry and crying and them refusing to bring her to me until the hour had passed.  So we just declined the bath and no problem.

Anyway, when I got upstairs we went through the general questions and of course all the comments about Everly being number eight.  They know my midwife there and I think they found it humerous that I really just wanted a hospital birth for the epidural.  So they got me hooked up and I remember just lying there in the very early morning hours (I had prayed to go into labor and make the trip to the hospital at night, I just love it that way.  It just feels so secret-ish.) watching the contractions growing longer and closer and peaking on the monitor and thinking, "Thank You, Jesus, for epidurals."  True story.  I said it numerous times.  I was dead serious, too.  I did have a moment of pride when the nurse told me I was a good 7 (before the epidural) and asked if I always acted like nothing was really going on when I was at 7.  Ha.  Made me feel good even though I was being a weenie about it this time around.

The night passed and as morning came I began to be in a lot of pain.  Like I-may-as-well-have-been-at-home kind of pain.  The epidural. guy had to come back like four times.  I was having significant pain very low in the front *and* back which was new to me.  I can only imagine what that would have felt like completely sans epidural and at home.  I think I really believe that's why I needed to go to the hospital this time.

Finally they got me dosed up and then it was time.  Yay!  I had been concerned about possibly having to push out a posterior baby.  Susie (the midwife) was always able to get them to turn but I knew with an epidural and laboring just sitting in the bed that I couldn't count on that happening.  But I am glad to say that aside from the whole no-pushing thing with Haven it was by far my easiest pushing stage.  Five minutes.  Tops.  I think three pushes.  SO easy.  I did need a couple of stitches but it wasn't a big deal.  And she came out sideways.  That's what the doctor said.  Sideways.  That explains the pain in the front AND back, I think.

She was and is perfect.  Aside from my particularness  (is that a word?) the rest of the visit was normal and we were allowed to leave the next morning.  I spent a good amount of time worrying that first night about how I was going to decline having my blood drawn the next morning (I didn't feel it was necessary and WHY do they always come in at like 4:30am???) but when the tech came in I groggily said, "I"m declining having my blood drawn," and she gave me a quizzical look, turned around and left.  No one ever said anything about it.  I think they knew I just wanted to have my baby and be left alone.  :)

So that's it.  The birth of little Evs.  Life since then had been anything *but* my typical new baby adjustments but that story is for another time.

Welcome to the world, sweet Everly.  We are so glad you are here.  You are perfect, and you were born at just the right time.

the birth of grace~

Well, it's high time I finally got around to writing Grace's birth story. I do feel I really needed to process it first, as my first attempts were all over the place and the way I kept "losing" them to blogger-land finally led me to believe I just needed to wait a bit. And I did. I needed to think it through. Not to mention I've been a little busy :o)

So here it is. Finally.

The actual birth is pretty normal. Labor began, lasted about four hours total with about twenty minutes or so of pushing. She was posterior, she turned right before I began to push. Non-eventful, easy birth. Rather large for two weeks early (nine and a half pounds exactly,) but perfectly healthy. No tearing, easy recovery. All done.

But it didn't feel that way in my head. During the labor, it felt like my hardest one ever. But it was all mental. The actual "birth story" is as above, but in my head it was an entirely different story. So if you want the details, here they are...

Easter Morning. We're all excited to go to my grandparents' farm in Kentucky. Secretly I've been feeling like she would come this weekend, but you know how that is. It's so hard to discern between what one is "feeling" and what one is just really hoping for. So although I was feeling it would be Easter weekend, Haven's two week late birth kept me from setting myself up for disappointment. I knew I was mentally preparing for her to come early though as I finished off my to do list on Saturday.

So everyone is looking forward to Kentucky. I'm hoping the car ride will put me into labor and that things will happen that night after a nice visit to the farm.

Not so. I woke suddenly around 7am thinking I either peed in the bed (which has never happened to me, even during pregnancy) or my water broke a little. I say a little because it was one small spot, not a huge gush. I got up, confirmed that yes! my water had indeed broken. And went back to bed quietly excited with my secret, and waited for something to happen. I was mildly disappointed that it seemed I would be laboring during the day (I really, really like waking up during the night realizing labor has begun, taking a bath, and enjoying the dark, quiet house and watching the sunrise. Strange, I know. But it's actually worked out that way several times.) But the disappointment was largely overshadowed by excitement that she was coming, and almost two weeks early!

So I laid there, and nothing. About an hour later, everyone was up and I was keeping my secret. (Have I mentioned I don't like to tell anyone I'm in labor until I absolutely have to? Not even Glen. For some reason, I just really prefer keeping it to myself as long as possible.) But after awhile I realized I was going to have to tell them as they were beginning to talk about getting ready to go. I told Glen quietly first, his eyes got really big and it actually took me a minute to convince him I wasn't joking. The kids were all very excited to find out the baby was coming and didn't mind missing the trip. Except for Ethan, he was highly irritated the baby couldn't just wait. He kept saying, "Can't we just go? The baby isn't actually coming now. Can't we just go and come back when she's actually being born?" Poor guy. If we had only known.

So I turn into the cleaning dictator. Anything anyone gets out has to be immediately put back, and any mess or crumb must immediately be cleaned up. But still nothing is happening. Not one contraction. Nothing. We take a family picture, run to the video store, come home, eat lunch, and finally lay down for a nap. All this time, my water is leaking enough for me to know that it truly is that, but not enough to keep me from normal activity. So finally I realize this labor is looking to be like Caleb's. With his birth, my water began leaking early on a Sunday morning as well, but I didn't go into labor until the following night. I really am kind of happy that I may indeed get to labor during the night. And it was really kind of fun anticipating it.

When we woke up from our nap Sunday afternoon, my water really broke. As in I was creating puddles every time I stood up, so I spent the rest of the evening sitting in my chair and assuring Glen it was totally normal for labor to have not really started yet. I reminded him of Caleb's birth, but he was still growing nervous that it had been so long and nothing was happening. He kept wanting me to call Susie, but I knew what that would mean and I wanted to just let it happen on its own. I assured him things would probably happen during the night and not to be concerned. We watched a movie and eventually went to bed.

I woke up the next morning after having zero contractions during the night. I don't even think I got up to pee. I'm lying in my bed trying to not be disappointed. At this point, I know we're going to have to have a baby today, one way or another as my water has been broken for so long now. No night laboring, and more than likely we're going to have to induce labor, be it naturally at home or artificially at the hospital. So I'm trying to not be terribly disappointed. You see, I really like to plan things. Whether it be how I'm going to organize my laundry or how my labor is going to go. I have always had a very distinct plan in my mind of how I want it to go, and amazing it has been that way more often than not. And not only do I have a very specific way of how I want things to go, but I also have very specific things that I absolutely hate in labor. And it was beginning to look like not only was it not going to go the way I wanted, but I was going to have to endure the things I absolutely wanted to avoid at any cost.

So I was mad. And then Glen comes in and tells me he's called Susie and she's on her way. So now I'm really frustrated. I can't even sit there and feel sorry for myself think through things and talk myself out of my pity party. I was slightly irritated with Glen, but he was concerned, and knows how I always put off calling the midwife, so he just took charge. It had to be done, I know it, but I was not happy about it.

So she comes. She tells me about the whole "water broken for 24 hours" thing which I already know, so we decide that "officially" my water didn't really break until I woke up from that nap around 3, so we'll give it until noon to see if labor is progressing. If not, I'll need to go to the hospital. Oh, and by the way, hospitals around here won't even do pitocin once it's been 24 hours. Automatic c-section. No pressure or anything. Ugh.

So she gives me some homeopathic stuff, has me use the br**st pump, and threatens me with castor oil or an enema if nothing happens. She really is quite nice about it, but I'm mad. Outwardly I'm agreeing, but inwardly I'm thinking yeah right. I'd rather just go to the hospital, refuse a c-section, get an epidural and have a nice pain free birth. I mean, by now all my desires are out the window, so why not just go all the way? I seriously spent the next hour thinking about how I was going to tell my midwife I wanted to go the hospital if she told me I needed to try castor oil or an enema. And I was serious.

Well, let me tell you. All that talk about n**ple stimulation (sorry, dad) bringing on contractions? It's true. It works, and it works fast. Within five minutes of using the pump I was having intense "I changed my mind about this whole no drug thing" contractions four to five minutes apart. They gave me some iv antibiotics to be on the safe side since my water had been broken for so long. (Which was so much easier than at the hospital. She slid the little needle in, just held it there for about fifteen minutes, then slid it out. No tape and I didn't have to leave it in during labor. So nice.)

So things are progressing. And then Susie realizes that once again, my baby is posterior. Now I'm really mad. Not only did I not get to gradually go into labor during the night, but I'm not going to get to labor comfortabally. No, I get to lay in all kinds of uncomfortable baby-turning positions while having intense contractions close together. I'm okay with it as I do not want to try and push out a baby turned backwards, but I'm still mad about the whole situation. She does finally let me get into the bath for awhile, but when I get out, I have to try and get the baby to turn still. I couldn't even lay back in the bath, I had to sit up straight. And I had too much tea tree oil in the water so every time I would have a contraction I would lay my head down on the side of the tub, but I couldn't breathe because it was too strong.

And all this time I'm retreating further and further into myself. You moms know how it is. You kind of get locked in your brain. I was obsessing over how miserable I was, how mad I was, trying to figure out if and how I could tell Susie I really just wanted to go to the hospital, and telling myself over and over that next time, I really, really, really AM going to the hospital. And that I'm not going to forget how much I want to just get an epidural next time. Really, I do. Finally, I remembered that I had asked the Lord for a verse or two to remember during labor, but by this time I couldn't really get them straight in my head, so they kept meshing with another. Really, I think this was the Holy Spirit giving me encouragement though as the way they went together was really sweet, and very encouraging when I could manage to remember it.

You know, it only takes a paragraph to write in black and white what was going through my head, but it was really intense and mentally very difficult. I guess it lasted about two and half hours or so of this feeling of contraction after contraction, with these thoughts chasing one another through my brain and my going back and forth between being mad and trying to gather my thoughts and remind myself of Scripture. I was very quiet, I don't make much noise during labor and don't like to talk unless I have to, but inwardly my mind was overwhelmed.

I got out of the tub, Susie checked me and I was almost complete, with a lip. (Does that happen to every mother giving birth naturally? It seems there is always a lip. "Just wait a little longer, you're almost there, just a little lip.") Susie figured this was because she was still backwards so that her head couldn't put proper pressure to finish dilating. So I resume lying on my side in Susie's highly effective baby-turning positions. (They work, they really do.) Finally, I feel this tremendous pulling and turning sensation during about three contractions. Grace is turning into the proper position, and I can certainly feel it. You could literally watch her turning around as my stomach contorted strangely.

As soon as she finished turning, I had the urge to push. I had to push for about twenty minutes, which is longer than with any of my other children, but oddly, it didn't hurt. It felt good to be able to finally push and know the end was near. I was finally going to have my Grace. I didn't even realize her head was out until Susie told me her shoulder was stuck and to push really hard. That took a few more pushes, and then finally, that feeling of immense relief when you feel them slide completely out. She was perfect, and beautiful.

Immediately following the birth, I had the whole violent leg shaking thing which is so odd, but is calmed by warm blankets fresh from the dryer (yay for being at home!) and I was exhausted. Usually I'm actually quite perky after birth for awhile, but this time I was mentally worn out and just wanted everyone to leave. I have had people at my births before, but have learned that I really prefer to just be alone. It doesn't even really matter to me so much if Glen is there which I'm sure most people will think is really strange, especially since we have such a sweet and wonderful relationship, but I just completely withdraw into myself during labor so I don't even really notice anyone except for Susie telling me what to do. This time, Anna and Glen were there, but that was all. I always tell my Aunt (who is like my Mom) and sisters that I'm planning on having them, "but will have to see," but this time I didn't have anyone since it began under weird circumstances, was immediately intense, and I was just plain mad the whole time. Anna, having missed Haven's falling out since she ran to get everyone else, refused to budge from the room the entire time, and she was actually a huge help to not only me while I was pushing, but also to Susie. Even if she did talk her ear off :o) (Me: "Anna, if you can't stop talking, you are going to have to leave!") :o)

I was telling some friends yesterday the whole thing was so surreal. I can see myself lying there pushing, but in my mind, my bed was almost all the way against the wall, it felt like the wall was right in front of my face. In reality, I was a good seven or eight feet away from the wall probably, but in my memory my bed is moved completely over. Very weird. The whole thing is like one long, slow motion memory where I'm going back and forth between the real world and my own thoughts. Very much like something you would see in a movie. It was very strange to experience it in real life.

So that's why it has taken me so long to process it. It actually took me a long time to figure out why I was so frustrated and mad the whole time and why it felt so much harder when it really wasn't. I just couldn't make the mental - emotional connection. I guess it is just another lesson in me not being able to control everything in life and learning to be okay with that. I very much want to have another baby, I very much want to have another home birth (funny how quickly we forget,) and next time, I hope I can remember how huge a part my mental outlook plays in how easy or difficult labor feels and that I can just go with it.

So that's my story. Sorry it took so long ;o)

And for those of you (like me) that love birth stories, my other ones are here.

labor day fun~

Call me silly, but I love a good meme. Pair that with being a woman who has also given birth, I also love a good birth story. Therefore, I had to participate in the labor day meme being hosted by Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer.

The topic, of course, is labor. Answer the following questions for each of your children, and go over and leave at link at Rocks In My Dryer :o)

Here goes...

1. How long were your labors?

A~ about 8 hours from first pitocin drip to last push

C~ technically, 30ish hours, but only if you count that my water broke 24 hours before the first contraction. from the time contractions started, only about 3 hours

E~ again, about 3 hours

M~ about 4 hours, but I was pretty much keeping my legs closed the last 1 1/2 hours to keep her from coming before Glen got home :o) (she was my surprise 15 day early baby, born on her Daddy's birthday)

N~ again, about 4 hours

H~ 18 hours. posterior. ugh.

2. How did you know you were in labor?

A~ I was induced. Once they started that pitocin, there was no mistaking what was happening.

C~ Like I said before, my water had broken, but no labor for over 24 hours. By that point I was in the hospital under threat of induction if things didn't happen by early morning. Finally, around 3am, I had this sudden realization that I was having contractions that I was having to concentrate to get through.

E~ Another induction. Wish I had known more then.

M~ Woke up during the night realizing I was having regular contractions.

N~ Was rocking an intensely sick Anna, and realized I was having regular contractions.

H~ Woke up during the night again.

3. Where did you deliver?

ACE~ hospital

MNH~ home

4. Drugs?

A~ yep. First baby, induction. Those of you that can do it without drugs, you win an award.

C~ yep, even though I really wanted to not and if I'd only held out for another hour I would've made it.

E~ first natural birth. Even though I was induced, I was b/t 5-6cm going in and it was questionable whether or not I was already going into labor.

M~ nope. no drugs at home.

N~ nope. But his was my only natural birth during which I though I was absolutely crazy and next time I was definitely going to the hospital.

H~ nope. Obviously I got past Noah's birth.

5. C-Section?

No, thankfully.

6. Who delivered?

A~ Dr. Trabue. If you live around here and are going the ob route, I cannot recommend anyone more highly. He is the only that actually referred me to my midwife and graciously agrees to be my backup during my home births.

C~ Dr. Swan. Dr. Trabue missed it by a half hour coming back from vacation and I have regretted it ever since.

E~ Dr. Trabue

M~ a midwife who I didn't care for so much. A lot of people I know absolutely love her, but our personalities just didn't match very well. Plus she absconded on my sister in law during her 4th of July labor in order to go back home for a party. For a few hours. Uh uh. Not such a good idea. Plus that baby had a prolapsed cord. Although she did save that baby's life, what would have happened if he had decided to come quickly while she was gone??

N~ Susie Meeks, my favorite midwife ever and her awesome assistant, Cindy

H~ same as Noah

7. Favorite birth? (I added this one.)

Moriah. Even though I didn't get along with the midwife so much, the labor was fast and sooo easy. I was at 7cm when the midwife arrived, sat down and chatted easily b/t contractions while waiting for Glen to get home, when he got home, I got up off the chair, laid down on the bed, and pushed her out in just a few pushes. Can't ask for more :o)

That's it! Leave me a comment if you decide to participate so I can check it out :o)

Happy Labor Day!

longing fulfilled and the flipside of quiverfull~

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I tend to find myself in the quiverfull camp. Leaving it up to the Lord to give us the children He wants us to have, in His timing. That's the flipside. The His timing part. It's easy to say you're trusting the Lord in your family size when you want another baby. It's easy to say you're trusting the Lord when you're not getting pregnant and you really don't want to be right now. It's a whole new ballgame to say you're trusting the Lord and His plans look different from what "I" want.

That's where I've found myself the past three weeks. Without giving too much information, let's just say that I knew that there was going to be a very strong likelihood that I could fall pregnant this last month. Several opportunities, if you know what I mean ;o) Once I hit that two week mark in my cycle, I was a woman with an obsession. I recently learned that pregnancy tests from the Dollar Tree are one of the most sensitive tests you can buy, so at only $1 each, I could find out pretty early. As that twenty-eight day mark grew closer and closer, I began to suspect that I was not pregnant. I was fine with that. Disappointed some, but fine.

I began talking to the Lord about it a little bit. One of the things I felt like He was wanting me to see, was that the concept of truly trusting Him, whatever that might look like, encompassed trusting His timing for another baby as well as the fact that He controls my womb, not me. You see, I've been one of those women (thankfully!) that people joke gets pregnant when my husband looks at me. Our first five children were all 20 months apart, and then Noah and Haven are 22 months apart. My life tends to be very mathematical and symmetrical (kind of feeds my ocd tendancies as well,) so I was kind of thinking I would probably have babies 22 months apart again. I think the Father was wanting me to see that yes, symmetry in my life is one of the ways He works in me and speaks to me, but He controls that, not me. In short, I couldn't make myself get pregnant, and I needed to be okay with it if He had other plans. Glen's desire to possibly wait longer play into my feelings in this as well. Of course, he was okay with the strong possibility of getting pregnant, but as you all know, he would be okay to have a bigger space.

So, day twenty-eight arrives. Nothing. My cycles are still a little funny since Haven, but a negative pregnancy test nonetheless. I'm thinking by this point if I'm pregnant, it should show up. Day thirty. Wake up to find that yes, I am starting. Totally okay with that. The fact that when we do eventually get pregnant it will be our largest space yet between children crosses my mind, but the idea of a break is okay. I'm about to start school back up, and let's face it, early pregnancy isn't usually the picture of energy :o)

Fast forward six days. Period over. I'm thinking I sure am feeling sensitive when Noah nurses and I've wanted a nap three days in a row. Weird. I did just have a surprise motel slumber party with Anna and two of her cousins (read: up really late, lots of giggling, swimming, planning, pulling off the surprise, etc.), so I'm entitled to be sleepy. Plus I was sick last week. But I should be over all that by now.

So I'm thinking I've heard of women that have a period while pregnant. It's never happened to me, but there's a first time for everything. I have three Dollar Tree tests left over, so I decided might as well. Of course, my mind is weighing all the possibilities at this point. I'm having reminders of my last post when I surrendered to being okay with God's plan for my life, even if that looked different from my desires, and how after that, He fulfilled the desire of my heart. Maybe He brought me through a place like that, only to surprise me :o)

Three tests later. Six pink lines.

Yep. That's right. The 2009 Baby Hutchison model is set to debut in April :o)

(I do want to add on that I do have some concern over whether or not my period could have actually been a miscarriage and I still just have enough pregnancy hormone to cause a positive test. That could be the case. Either way, I am trusting the Father and feeling overwhelming thankful that He has blessed us with a new little life. He is the Father, the Creator, and the Author of Life. He is my Father, and I am trusting in Him...)

moriah's birth story~

Fast forward another year :o) Again. We are in the process of building our house and Glen is gone all the time trying to get it built as quickly and inexpensively as possible. We have three little ones four and under and life is very full.

Late January, maybe three weeks after Ethan turned 1, we find out that sure enough, #4 is scheduled to arrive 11 October. My sister-in-law, Joni, had just had her fourth baby a few weeks prior and Dr. Trabue had jokingly asked if I was pregnant. My two other sister-in-laws, Lori and Elizabeth, were also expecting, causing all of us to have babies in nine months.

We had been at Abounding Grace for several years now, so I was very familiar with home birthing, and as my ob was very supportive of it and willing to be my backup doctor, we decided to go for a home birth.

We found out we were expecting another girl, and the only name for her was Moriah. The official meaning of Moriah is "taught of the Lord". It also has strong spiritual connections in other ways for us as well. We had been in a very intense season of truly "being taught of the Lord." Moriah was also the name of the mountain where God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, and later where David purchased the threshing floor in order to build the temple. The temple was built there, and there the Lord put His Presence. All these things had great meaning for us in that season of our life, and so she stands as a testimony to the Lord's faithfulness to us and His desire to teach us, lead us, and fill us with His Presence.

Glen rushed to finish our house and we moved into in June, with a little over three months to spare. We settled in, Anna started Kindergarten, and I kicked into waiting-for-baby mode.

I didn't have to wait long.

Fifteen days earlier than she was due, on Glen's birthday, I woke up during the night with contractions that were increasingly becoming evident of the real thing. We weren't at all thinking she would be born that soon, and Glen had a customer who had to get some stuff finished up so that his water could be turned back on (or something important like that). He left to run across town and take care of that, and I got out of the bathtub to get Anna ready for school.

The midwife arrived, as well as Joni (who lived down the driveway). My mother-in-law arrived and took the kids down to Joni's house, and Joni stayed with me until Glen could get back. Anna never did make it to school.

This birth was by far the easiest. I labored for awhile in the bath before calling the midwife. It was wonderful. (One of these days I would love to have a water birth.) I got out to get Anna ready for school, and was just walking around getting things done in between contractions. When the midwife arrived, she checked me and said I was a good 7cm and if I didn't want to have the baby before Glen returned, I needed to sit down. So I sat. We talked and laughed between contractions and I never realized I was in transition.

Once Glen finally arrived, I decided to let Heather check me again. She declared me ready to push, and a few minutes later, out popped Moriah. Okay, it wasn't quite that easy, but Joni says you couldn't even tell I was in labor. Now, with her I had the most prounounced "ring of fire" that is so notorious, but it was very quick.

After a couple of turkey and swiss sandwiches, I settled in to be amazed that I had another sweet baby girl that was here much sooner and more easily than I ever imagined.

noah's birth story~

One year later. Ha ha. Went away for a weekend with Glen, secretly suspecting I would probably get pregnant ;o), only to discover the day after we returned that I already was pregnant. Glen wasn't really surprised. A few weeks prior the Lord had done something really sweet in that He had pretty much told Glen we were supposed to have another baby. The Lord had given me the name Noah some months earlier, and from the beginning, this baby was going to be named Noah whether a boy or a girl.



This time I wanted to switch midwives. Although the midwife I had used for Moriah was fine, we never really hit it off, and I had since met Susie Meeks. She is a mother of five, lives close to me, would come to my house for appointments, and has such a sweet, sweet spirit, that I instantly loved her and knew she was the midwife for me!



The year I was pregnant with Noah was my first year homeschooling Anna. She stayed home that year and we did first grade. I had a 6yr old, a 4yr old, a newly turned 3yr old, and a just turned 1yr old. I was a little tired. But I do love being pregnant. (That explains a lot, doesn't it?)



Noah was due on 15 July, but the evening of 6 July, when everyone in the family, save Moriah and myself, was violently ill from some horrible stomach thing acquired at Wave Country two days prior, baby Noah decided to be born.



All day I had been taking care of everyone that was sick, and late in the evening, as I was rocking a very, very sick Anna, I realized I was in labor. Poor Anna. Her head hurt so badly she was screaming and throwing up. Not exactly the best environment to bring a new baby into, but the Lord is gracious and there are all those fabulous immunities built into a newborn. The other kids were sick as well, although not in as much pain as Anna was, and Glen was very sick as well. Like I-can't-get-off -the-couch, sorry-I'll-see-the-baby-after-she's-born-hope-you-make-it-okay kind of sick. Great.



So I call my sister. She drives like a crazy person and makes the 1hr and 10minute trip out here in about 50 minutes. My other sister is out of town.



The sister that made it, the one who keeps my kids all the time, is my youngest sister Kristen. I'll have to write about her sometime. Anyway, she's young, and only 20. Great for hanging out and having fun, and she makes an awesome nanny (if anyone is in the market), but not exactly the support-the-laboring-mom type. I remember thinking "If she doesn't shut up I'm going to have to get rid of her." It was all great fun for her. Kind of an adventure. She got to video tape the whole thing (you know, so Glen could see it later.) She had been at Anna's birth, but she was only 12 at the time, so it was a little different. (Sorry if you're reading this, Kristen. I think you are fabulous and am so glad you got to be there. I'm sure if I have another baby I'll tape your mouth shut you will have grown in your labor support techniques :o) Seriously, though, I love you bunches!)



Anyway, Noah's birth was a lot harder for me to deal with mentally. Probably because Glen was immobile on the couch and I had three children very sick, one who was in quite a bit of pain. Not exactly conducive to a nice, calm birth. With Noah, I realized I was in transition, and panicked. I remember thinking, "What am I doing? If I ever have another baby, I am so going to the hospital and getting an epidural."



The time came for him to be born, about four hours after realizing I was in labor, and about an hour after Susie and my sister arrived. Glen managed to crawl into the bedroom and sprawl out on the bed behind me and touch my head (which I did not like at the time, poor guy) while I pushed Noah out. I didn't tear at all, and was slightly pouty a little bit amused that out of everyone in the house, I felt the best even though I had just delivered a baby. Anna woke up right as he was being born, and she and Glen fell asleep on the couch together soon after.



I ended up in the bed with my sister. For the first time. (See Haven's birth story for how I ended up in bed with my other sister after his birth. Good thing my sisters are my best friends, eh?)



This time, I was quite a bit more apprehensive about another home birth, but when the time came, there was not a question in my mind as to what I wanted to do. Home births are amazing, sweet, and although my next experience, while crazy and never in a million years would I have planned for it to happen like it did, was very good, and as everyone knows by now, I am eagerly anticipating doing it...again. If only I had an announcement ;o) That is currently under negotiations and prayer.

caleb's birth story~

**I would love it if you would all share some of your birth stories,

whether by blogging or even in the comments.

I love birth stories.**

Fast forward one year since Anna's birth. (see Anna's Birth Story here.) We've sold our house in LaVergne, and bought a house in Madison closer to my family. (I grew up living next door to my grandmother, my two great-aunts, and my aunt, plus I'm very close to both my sisters, so living out in LaVergne in my first few months of motherhood and no longer working outside the home made for one depressed new mommy.)

I nursed Anna for 11 months, and then she suddenly weaned herself. I found out I was pregnant the day after she turned one. I was very excited. I knew he was a boy from day one. The big name debate was between Caleb and Christian. Glen thought Christian Rivers sounded like a church, so Caleb it was.

He was due on 1 May. That morning, I had a mother-daughter tea at my family's church. I almost won the youngest mom award, but my sweet friend Rachel beat me by a couple of months :o)

I had woken up that morning thinking my water was probably leaking. As with Anna, I had been 5cm for the past week or so. I knew if I called the doctor he would probably tell me to come into the hospital, and wanting to avoid an induction and get to experience the "I think it's time!" phenomenon, I decided to hold off on calling him. At least until after the tea. I mean, who can resist little sandwiches, fruit, and cake? I could have a baby later.

That afternoon I called the doctor. He told me to come on in and if I didn't go into labor by the following morning, I would need to be induced as my water would have been broken for over 24 hours. We got to the hospital and were met by the drill sergeant nurse. My doctor was on vacation, but the on-call came by and said he was fine with me having liquids until midnight. As soon as he left the room, she informed me she wasn't going to let me have anything. (I guess she didn't want to deal with a potentially throwing up patient. I am sooo glad I home birth now!)Not only was she a strict, by the book type, she also had just had a chemical peel, so she was the blistered drill sergeant. That was okay, we kept the lights off.

I really didn't want to be induced. My three regrets after having Anna were being induced, not getting to experience going into labor, and having an epidural. (No flames for women that have epidurals, it was just how I wanted to do things!)

Around 3am I realized (and it really was like an epiphany), "Hey! I'm having contractions that I'm noticing. I must be in labor!" I woke Glen up and told him. He went back to sleep. After a little while, they were getting more intense, so I woke up Glen and called her. She graciously got me a birthing ball that was quite nice. But alas, once again labor was hard, and not knowing how much longer it would last, I opted for the epidural.

Wouldn't you know, right after that, not thirty minutes, I was complete , and Caleb was born with a pushing stage so short I don't even remember it. He had meconium so they didn't hand him to me right away. I remember really noticing the cramping after he was born. I think one of the great benefits of being handed your baby immediately is that your focus is all on that new sweet little person and it helps you not notice the lovely afterbirth stuff.

Caleb Rivers was born around 6:20am, and Dr. Trabue (my fabulous ob that is still my backup doctor and referred me to my midwife, Susie) missed it by mere minutes.

We named our new little guy Caleb Rivers. He weighed 8#14oz. We went home a couple of days later and everything was great. Adjusting to number two was so much easier. And this time I avoided the whole well-baby check event at Vandy ;o)

ethan's birth story~

Fast forward one year. Again. Caleb had weaned himself around 11 months like Anna had, and three days after Caleb's first birthday, one early Sunday morning before church, I snuck out to the grocery story and confessed quite embarassedly (is that a word?) to Glen awhile later that yes, we were expecting baby number three, and yes, I had snuck out to the grocery store that morning. We had just started going to Abounding Grace three weeks before, and I was very excited to let all of our family know our news that morning! (In hindsight, I probably should have held off on telling Glen until after he finished bathing #1-2 and we made the food we were taking to church for the fellowship meal. But hey, I was excited. He was, too, just not able to provide much of a reaction while covered in baby bubbles.)

Ethan was due on 10 January. I had a great pregnancy and was looking forward to labor. My great sister-in-law, Elizabeth, had delivered her first son, Gray, naturally the previous January, so I was determined to have a natural birth. This was also the first thought toward home birth that I was introduced to as we had been attending Abounding Grace and home birthing was very common there. My ob, Dr. Trabue, had also jokingly asked me if I was going to ask him to deliver this baby at home. I wasn't ready for that quite yet, but I really wanted a natural birth.

Thanksgiving comes, then Christmas, and I am getting antsy. I didn't really want a January baby. I wanted a tax deduction baby (I know, I know...). I had an appointment on New Year's Eve. Just like my two prior births, I was dilated to a good 5cm and walked around like that for a week without going into labor. At my appointment that morning, Dr. Trabue asked me if I wanted to be induced. I said no, and left the office. I was getting into my car, in tears, and called Glen. I really wanted to go ahead and have the baby, but I didn't want to be induced and knew that a natural birth would be harder with an induction. And as silly as it sounds, that extra child tax credit would be really helpful to a young couple with three little ones three and under.

Glen was very supportive and said whatever I wanted to do would work out fine. If I wanted to go ahead and have the baby, that would be great. But if I wanted to wait, it would be just as fine. Not exactly the help I was looking for, but at least he was a good listener :o)

I called back up to the office and told the nurse that if they could get me in that day, I would do it. She thought it was probably too late, plus it was New Year's Eve, but she would check. She called me back and said they had an opening that afternoon. Okay. I was a jumble of emotions.

We went to the hospital at 2pm, and got everything going. I had an amazing nurse that knew I wanted natural childbirth. I told her if I started talking about an epidural, that she needed to talk me out of it. She was great. She let me labor without the monitor (probably the number one thing I hate about hospital births) quite a bit, let me sit on the birthing ball, and was very supportive. Glen and I hung out and watched Jurassic Park 2. Well, for awhile anyway.

Thanks to the mercy of the Father, a wonderful husband, and a very supportive nurse, I was able to labor and deliver naturally. Finally! What an accomplishment!

After only a three hour labor, Ethan Rivers was born slightly after 6pm. He weighed 9#6oz. I immediately wanted a sandwich and salad. I crave turkey and swiss sandwiches for days after every single one of my births, but the salad thing was new. I had never liked salad before in my life, but suddenly they sounded yummy. My great nurse hunted down a huge sandwich and salad for me and for Glen, and that was that.

I was strep B positive with Ethan, so we had to stay at the hospital an extra day since my labor was too quick for me to get a full dose of antibiotics, but we went home a few days later and I was amazed at how quickly my little family was growing.

The first few weeks as I sat around and nursed him I read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I even got some of the other books about the history of the elves and dwarfs and the history of Middle Earth. I did a lot of reading those few weeks.

Ethan was such a sweet baby. They were all sweet, but I guess I was finally settled enough in the baby thing that I was able to really enjoy him. I also remember Glen being particularly sweet toward me in the weeks after his birth. You all know I think Glen is an amazing husband and father, but this time has always stood out out to me.

And as usual, I couldn't wait to do it again :o)

anna's birth story~

I haven't been the best at keeping up with the baby books. I actually did pretty well up until Noah. I'm so used to typing that writing things out by hand seems to take forever. I do keep a handwritten journal, but it's sparse compared to here, so while I'm on my blogging roll, I thought for the sake of my children and myself when I am older (and all the birth story junkies), I would write out each one's birth story. I'll begin at the beginning....

Glen and I had been married six months. We had bought our first house a couple of months before and were planning on "trying" to get pregnant in January. Well, due to a certain someone not been very diligent with her birth control pills, one mid-January morning, I received a very pleasant surprise!

My original due date was 14 September. It was later moved to 4 September after a routine ultrasound showed her measuring bigger. I had a marvelous, uneventful pregnancy.

Around six weeks before my due date, I was dilated to 2cm. I hung out there for a few weeks, and gradually, at two weeks prior to my due date, I was dilated between 5-6cm. Being young and uninformed in the ways of childbirth, I agreed to be induced. After all, it was my first baby and I had been waiting to be a mother my whole life!

The following morning I arrived at the hospital around 8am. It took awhile to get things going, but around 10am or so I was having nice, strong pitocin contractions. Out the window flew my natural childbirth intentions (I really had no idea). Everything progressed nicely, and our sweet, red-faced, black-haired baby was born a few short hours later with only a few pushes. My entire family was there. My Mom, my aunt, my sisters, and my mother-in-law. Oh, and Glen. We can't forget Glen. :o) I did have a 3rd degree tear, but all was well. (Why didn't anyone bother to inform me that after pains, stitches, and engorgement could all easily rival labor???)

Anna Rose Hutchison weighed 8# 10 1/2 oz. and was 20 inches long. We went home two days later and thus began my journey.

A few other things I want to remember~

I got to labor and birth in the secluded, very large room usually reserved for celebrities. Anna thinks this is pretty cool and it allowed for plenty of room for my family.

My great aunt and grandmother were also both in the same hospital as I was. We were each on separate floors and my other aunt kept running up and down the elevator to check on everyone. As soon as I was discharged, we walked back into the hospital (after the formalities of being wheeled out, getting in the car, the nurse making sure we had an infant carseat, and re-parking the car of course) to visit my aunt and grandmother. We had to go up the elevator, and across the verrryyy looong crosswalk, and down the hallway. Did I mention I had a lot of stitches? Again, I ask, why didn't anyone warn me? I can't hold my sweet husband responsible as at this point in time he still had no clue :o)

The following week, I took her to Vandy for a well-baby check. I had to park in the garage. Across the street. Go up the elevator and down a verrry looong hallway. Didn't think I'd need the stroller. (think young, naive, super-mom...or so I thought) Dropped the blanket in the middle of the road on my way back to the car. Had to take the stairs in the parking garage. Did I mention I had stitches? Like, a lot of them. By the time I got there, I needed the doctor more than she did. She was perfectly healthy. I, on the otherhand, couldn't walk for two weeks. We soon changed doctors.

I was a compulsive breastfeeder. Kept track of which side, for how long, watched the clock, and was obsessed with "learning" how to nurse discreetly.

I am so glad I'm not a new mom anymore. Whew. Those days were hard :o)

sweet baby haven~

~happy 1st birthday haven!~

I've been meaning to write down Haven's birth story, for, well, about a year now, so I figured in honor of my sweet baby turning one, today would be a great day to do it.

Well, to start at the beginning, I'll give you a little background. First of all, all of my children (except Caleb who was born on his due date) have been early. Like from 8 days early to 20 days early. So, as Haven was due on 17 May, and wasn't actually born until 30 May, that made for a very, very l o n g amount of time that we were just...waiting. I am a huge planner, like, I still have 4 containers of Tide that I stocked up on before he was born and the amount of food I had in the freezer lasted us a good 6-8 months, I still have 5 more boxes of toothpaste in the cabinet, and still have some diapers that I got before. Like I said, I'm a planner and slightly ocd. So, my house was entirely clean and we were ready to go a solid three weeks before he was due. As he was 13 days late...I was going slightly crazy, wondering just exactly how large this child was going to be (Anna was 20 days early from her original due date and weighed 8#10oz, and Ethan was 11 days early and weighed 9#6oz. My dates were right, and my awesome sister in law had an 11lb baby just months earlier, so this was no small thought, people!). I was beginning to become obstinate in declaring "I don't care what the midwife says, I am not going to the hospital, I'll just hide out in the basement and he will eventually decide to be born, I mean, no one stays pregnant forever...". Not to mention that we had end of the year New Song stuff (you should have seen me at field day!), my sister was finishing up nursing school, my aunt (the teacher) was finishing up her school year, my mother in law who is a tremendous help but who has two autistic high school age sons that were about to be out of school for the summer, and Glen's work schedule, made for a lot of people trying to schedule when this baby should be born. Oh yeah, and did I mention that my midwife had all five of her children/spouses coming in from out of town for Memorial Day? Oh yeah, and I had been hospitalized with pneumonia a few weeks prior. Anyway, it was slightly crazy :o)

So, Sunday before he was born, the day before Memorial Day. I started taking blue/black cohosh. Tastes gross, but you know, whatever works. Didn't work. Didn't actually think it would. I tend to think babies will be born when they're good and ready, and if you force it before your body and your baby is ready, well, often not such a good idea. So, waiting, waiting, waiting.

Okay, so, finally, around 2:30ish on Wednesday, 30 May, I woke up with what seemed like the real thing. Finally. I love waking up in the middle of the night in labor. It's happened with four of my children, and I had been asking God the whole time to please let it happen that way again. It's just really cool to wake up and know today is the day. Then I usually sit around for awhile, the house is nice and quiet, I take a nice long bath, see the sun rise, call the midwife, and wa la! a baby is born about an hour later. Funny how things don't always go exactly the way we plan. Ha ha. I should probably add here that my whole pregnancy, I had pretty consciously been aware of the Lord preparing me for what would be an out-of-the-norm-for-me labor, and especially once I realized this was to be my first late baby, and as I realized this was going to be a really late baby, I began to really know something was going to be different. So I was prepared.

Sort of.

So, everything went according to my previously laid plans as stated above, except the baby an hour later part. I was in labor, still pretty comfortable, just not moving along nearly as fast as all my other babies. Hmmm. Back began hurting more than usual. Called Glen to come home around lunch time (I had sent him to work to wrap up a few things knowing he would head back when I called). Still thinking, normally we would have had a baby several hours ago. Glen's home, on the phone with work (do these people not realize their door knobs and garage remodels can wait until tomorrow! Gee, does my husband not realize their door knobs and garage remodels can wait until tomorrow?), and every contraction I'm kicking him, pointing at my back..up, down, left, right...push harder...get offf the phone already! Not calling the midwife as I just like to be left alone in the calmness and quietness until I feel I have just enough time for her to get here to deliver.

5pm-ish, finally call her as it's getting more intense. She gets here, checks me, sets up. Still no baby. Get to 10cm, she has me push a little, even though I don't have the urge yet, just to kind of assess progress. Finally, she and her assistant realize Haven is posterior. No worries, not a huge deal, they've actually had 8 posterior babies in the last two months, it just makes for a longer labor and harder pushing. Like I said, not a huge deal. Unless you're in active labor trying to contort your 13 day overdue body into Chinese acrobat-type positions in the name of trying to get your baby to turn already. Yeah right.

I have no idea what my kids did all day. Thankfully, they're pretty self sufficient. Plus they had Glen and Anna around to keep them in line. Toward the end there, Anna and Moriah were on the bed with me, rubbing my arm, and Caleb and Ethan would periodically run to the bedroom door, peek in and see me bent over during a contraction (thankfully, I'm a pretty quiet labor-er), make "oh my gosh-that is such a girl thing-gross!" type faces while trying not to laugh and run off again. Noah was probably lining up blocks somewhere. Who knows? Not me.

So, a couple of hours pass of trying to get this baby to turn. Lying down and pushing a little here and there to see if we can just make some progress in getting him to come out sunny side up. Nothing is saying imminent delivery. I'm lying on the bed, Glen is sitting in front of the bed, the midwife and her assistant are across the room writing something down. I decide to stand up and move around a little. Well, Haven must have decided to turn right then, because as soon as I stood up, I felt him come down. Far. As in he's coming out right now. I leaned over on Glen, yelled "head", and he fell out. Literally. Glen and the midwife dove for him and caught him inches above the floor. Still in his water bag. The cord snapped, so both of us are bleeding out all over the place, he's still in the bag, so he's cut off from oxygen, and no one was ready. It was a very chaotic minute or so. Not to mention that my NICU nurse sister who had never made it to one of my home births before, happened to arrive in my front door right as I yelled head, and walked into my bedroom door right as he fell out :o) The assistant has Haven on the bed trying to break and peel off his water bag. I was facing away from the bed, so I never got to see it, but she said it was actually really neat. She said Haven was just in there with his eyes open looking around. He wasn't actually in any distress yet, and she was able to break it in about 30 seconds. Meanwhile, Susie, the midwife, is taking care of me, getting the cord tied off and getting me back on the bed. It was very exciting and definitely the easiest "pushing" stage ever.

Everyone was fine and soon after, my aunt and other sister arrived. There's always such a rush of adrenaline after I have a baby. Being at home is wonderful. As it was around 9pm, Glen went and got the kids in bed and laid down on the couch in the living room while my aunt, my two sisters, the midwife and her assistant, and me were all back in the bedroom laughing, taking care of post-baby stuff, recounting the amazing birth, and just having a great time.

I can't wait to do it again :o)

So...

Happy Birthday Sweet Baby...

We sure do love you!