life around here~

Even though we school year round, there's something about the end of May that brings with it that end of the year feeling. For the most part, everyone has finished up the current year's work, and has begun a new grade. Just this morning, I announced, "Hey! You guys are 5th, 3rd, and 1st graders now! And...we have an up-and-coming Kindergartner! Yay, Moriah!" Well, everyone thought the graduation should be rewarded with oh, say....something from the candy basket. So, why not? Sure, you want to celebrate your boundless knowledge by rotting your teeth and filling up on sugar, be my guest :o) Just kidding...I'm not a total meanie!


The last few weeks have been really full. We've been finishing up school, evaluating what to do/work on over the summer, spring cleaning, getting out spring clothes and moving winter clothes around, and still really spending a lot of time thinking and praying about what to do for next year. We've been working on a budget and evaluating our income and spending habits, and bringing that aspect of school into the equation.


In all honesty, that has been a really, really hard one for me as I tend to approach things from the side of asking God what does He wants us to do about school (meaning stay home full time or continue on the plan of doing the Bethel/BCA tutorial stuff), and going from there, but after looking at, quite truthfully, our lack of budgeting like we should have been, we're evaluating what we should do from a financial standpoint. Nothing really major is going on, it's just that when Glen started his business four-ish years ago, we had a home equity line of credit that we used and have just never made the effort to pay off. Looking at "the economy" and the ongoing quest to bring our lives more and more into His will and following His Ways, it is really to our shame that we've let it hang around this long. So, the big question is do we pay it off faster at the expense of not doing any outside school this next year, or do we pay it off a little slower and do Bethel and BCA? Saying this is hard for me is probably the understatement of the year :o) For me, it's not just about economics. I felt like I had really heard from God about next year, but now I'm having to consider that maybe my husband's input into this is quite possibly just as much an answer about what we should do as all my "confirmations" and "leadings" are. Yikes! There is such a big picture here and gee whiz how I wish I knew what it was! Is life this intense for everyone else or am I just a serious over analyzer? I can't even get into all my thoughts (rabbit trails?) on this or I would be writing a serious novel :o)


On the upside, I am proud to say I have listened again to Directing Vision Daily all the way through once so far, and quite a bit of it several times. I can't say enough good about it. It is amazing and just exactly what I need in my relationship with all my children, but particularly the older ones. There is definitely a learning curve, and it requires a lot of patience, creativity, and quick thinking on my part, but I am slowly incorporating it into every day life and it is making a huge difference! It was long overdue and I am so thankful the Lord reminded me about it. It was a specific answer to a very specific prayer for how to deal with some growing um....tension, control battles, frustration, etc. I had to pretty much parent myself from the age of 14 (not to mention my very early years as well), so I am used to being in control. God, in his infinite wisdom (read: sense of humor?) gave me a daughter so like me it's ridiculous (iron sharpening iron?), and our burning desire to each do things "my" way was beginning to cause conflict. I am passionate about nurturing, building, and maintaining mother-daughter relationship so my heart cry for the last months has been for a literal breaking of something in me so that I can be the mother that first of all, the Lord made me to be, but also that my children need, and that I never learned how to be. It's been a long time since I wrote my first introduction where I talked about needing to break free from well, most of my childhood stuff, but I see my role as somewhat of a pioneer in that I desire to change the way my family lives as compared to how I was brought up. I did grow up in a Christian family, but it was (and still is) very co-dependant and my parents were too busy dealing with their own problems to pour into us. I want to be intentional in my mothering and basically, just do things right. Ha. Easier said than done. And that is why my life is all about Him, because I know that if it's even remotely about me, I'm going to fail miserably :o)


So anyway, it's been kind of funny to witness this attempt at changing my helicopter/drill sergeant mindset. When Ethan declares I'm unfair and I say "I know" he looks at me like I'm the craziest person in the world, but he thinks it's pretty funny too. Caleb is still asking how much he would have to pay me to do his jobs, but he thinks $4 for putting away his socks is pretty high, so he jumps on it pretty quick. Anna has actually been sick these last few days, so I've not been able to practice on her quite as much, but she is definitely enjoying her new, happier mama. If anyone has any ideas on how to incorporate this method with bossiness, I really need to know it. That's probably our number one thing we have to correct Anna about and it is beyond highly annoying. I'm really at a loss on how to handle this one.


And on a side note, we've lost a member of the pacifier club, and the other two are on restriction. Anyone want to guess who the drop out is? It's...Noah! And it was actually pretty easy. He's only asked for it about once a day, and only cried for about a minute one time. Moriah's been on restriction for awhile now, as I'm really kind of embarrassed to be one of those moms whose almost five year old still sneaks a paci. Haven is fine to leave it in his bed until he's tired, so hopefully the full blow habit will never develop :o)


I've got to run to fix dinner number two (I burned dinner number one). Happy Friday :o)