12 December 2007

you know you're a mother when...~

You know you're really a mother when...
~You are totally okay with the five second dropped food rule. Hey, you're totally willing to stretch that rule to the five minute rule, next day rule...whatever....

~You don't think twice about holding out your hands to catch throw up that would otherwise end up on the carpet

~You find yourself bouncing, swaying, and/or pushing your grocery cart back and forth, even if you're alone.

~You think banana peach oatmeal baby food tastes pretty good.

~You say things like "Because I'm the mom...," "If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you jump off as well?"

You know you're the mother of a larger than average size family when...~

~Your mother in law keeps two of the children for the day, leaving you at home with only six and you feel like you have a day off...

~You ask the guy at the grocery store if you can just have the still-shrink wrapped case of vegetables on his cart instead of having to throw 15 individual cans of green beans in your cart...then you get home and your seven year old says "Thanks Mom for getting the case of beans, it's so much easier to bring in and put away than all those cans!"

~Your family likes a certain kind of bread and anytime you are at any store, you buy every single loaf they have...

~You order paper towel and toilet paper coupons in bulk from the coupon clippers...

~You have diapers and wipes as a regular scheduled delivery from Amazon and still you often have to request an early shipment.

~When people see you with only three toddlers in the store and say "Boy, you've got your hands full..." you have to decide if you're going to smile sweetly and keep walking, roll your eyes, or have a 15 minute conversation on how you really have five more, yes we homeschool, but they're in a two day a week co-op, yes we might have more, yes, I know I look young, yes, I'll tell you how old I am, I'm 31 which leads to another conversation about how my husband and I met in high school, married at 17, had our first over a year later, (yes, we did things in the proper order :) not that that is any of their business!), and have been married 14 1/2 years, we afford it because the Lord is gracious and takes care of us and we trust that He always will. I don't do it, I can only be a mom by the grace of God, etc, etc, etc.....great testimony, just have to decide how many times I want to share it in one grocery trip :o)

~You will only buy one kind of sock for each child and each child's socks have their own color-coordinated line.

~You need a new washer and you tell the guy you just want the absolute largest one they make.

~You buy pacifiers in bulk when they're on sale.

~Leftovers....what are leftovers?

~It's way cheaper for you to shop online and pay for shipping than dragging everyone out, paying for gas in your suv/15-passenger van, and buying food for everyone.

~You find yourself constantly counting your children and it takes you five minutes to realize you're holding the one you are frantically searching for.

~Whichever cereal is buy-one-get-one-free is the cereal of the week. If it comes with a toy, you'd better hope they have at least seven boxes. Well, actually that doesn't even matter because you need at least seven boxes.

~You strictly adhere to an extremely detailed plan for whose week it is to sit at the end of the dinner table, pray first, choose the Bible story, sit by the baby, go on errands with mom, and stay up late to play a game after bedtime.

~When someone is sick, you have them cough on everyone immediately so that you can get it over with in one week instead of six :o) (sounds bad, but trust me, one week of chicken pox vs. six weeks of chicken pox...we did the six week version...like I said...trust me)

~It takes a re-arranging of the doctor's schedule to do check ups for all your children, it still takes two weeks in a row of four kids each week, you're there for two and half hours each time, and an extremely coordinated plan for babysitting and keeping school going...but it still throws off your life for an entire month.

~You buy so many bananas someone inevitably says "You must be making a lot of banana bread," and again, you have to decided whether or not to engage them in the above mentioned conversation...

~You only buy mix and match clothing.

~Costco is a bulk buying warehouse?.....Really? It's supposed to last longer than a week?

~When going out of town you can only rent a house, or go to Country Inns and Suites, and then you still have to decide if they really mean the baby and two year old when they ask how many children you're travelling with....does it count if they sleep in a pack and play?

~You have to buy a troop membership (not family, no....a "family" is three kids and two adults) to the Adventure Science Center, and then it's still cheaper than buying tickets for everyone.

~You have enough people to make a reservation anytime you want to go to any restaurant.

~You have perfected the peanut butter and honey assembly line...gee...you're nine year perfected the peanut butter and honey assembly line.

~Your maternity wardrobe is much nicer than your regular wardrobe seeing as how you spend more time wearing it...

~You realize you will be attending the Kdg/1st grade Mother's Tea for at least 16 years in a row.

~You qualify for group discounts!

~You get eight times the laundry, meal prep, meal clean up, baths, toys, etc....and eight times the stories, plays, songs, jokes, secrets, smiles, hugs, kisses, and love notes...

Can't remember why I started thinking about this, but it was kind of fun...Oh yeah, because my mother in law does have two of my children and I do feel like I have a day off :o)

Happy Wednesday! It is Wednesday...right?


Kohana said...

Oh I loved this! It made me laugh so much!

Nancy said...

I just LOVED this! My favorite was the one about frantically searching for the child that you're holding in your arms! That is me! Too much! Be encouraged today. I can barely manage with 6 kids age 16 down to 14 months. I have another on the way, too! You rock, woman! (I know the Lord gives you the strength every day.)

Rachel Wilson said...

I hope you guys had a wonderful Christmas!

"How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about arithmetic, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness." ~GK Chesterton

2012 November

2012 November